the coloring book

banned books week eve

2010-09-24T14:01:00.000-07:00

instead of linking to omphaloskepsis, I am re-posting here, too.

***

Banned Books Week: September 25-October 2, 2010.

I was discussing Banned Books Week with Natalya over breakfast this morning. I was asking her if she would like to participate in some way, if she would like to read some challenged books as a matter of protest. “What books could I be reading?” Her eyes were narrowed, but gleaming. She was also concerned–for my health. She knows I keep my whole left eye on what she reads. “Like a Wrinkle in Time.” N loves this L’Engle book. “What?!” she replies. I get on my phone to the ala.org site. “Many if not all Harry Potter (J.K. Rowling), Milne’s Winnie the Pooh, White’s Charlotte’s Web…the Bible.” She has read quite a few challenged/banned books already. I pass her my phone where I’ve called up the Classics List.

We think, maybe, that she might be ready for The Golden Compass by Philip Pullman. I’m also going to suggest we read Frances Hardinge’s Fly by Night together.

As for myself, not sure what I will read this year. There are, unfortunately, quite a few to choose from. Last year I finally read Chbosky’s The Perks of Being a Wallflower–and wasn’t that fantastic! And I read Ray Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451–which was less stellar, but appropriate subject matter.

I plan on browsing the lists, browsing the home shelves…told the daughter I would have a list for her to shop from by the time she was out of school today. And maybe we can talk more extensively as to why they were challenged. Will post our reading choices when they are made–and quick–tomorrow is the 25th!

Please make use of the American Library Association’s information and resources here, or connect with your local Library and find a way to participate. If you haven’t already!

Found this elegant argument in Robert P. Doyle’s 2009-2010 Banned Books Week campaign brochure and wanted to share it:

Each day, all across the country, one of our most basic freedoms—the right to read—is in danger. In communities large and small, censorship attempts every year threaten to undermine our freedom to read. Without our constant support, the First Amendment freedoms that we so often take for granted—the right to read, explore ideas, and express ourselves freely—are at risk.

The First Amendment guarantees that each of us has the right to express our views, including opinions about particular books. At the same time, the First Amendment also ensures that none of us has the right to control or limit another person’s ability to read or access information. Yet, when individuals or groups file formal written requests demanding that libraries and schools remove specific books from the shelves, they are doing just that—attempting to restrict the rights of other individuals to access those books.

The rights and protections of the First Amendment include children as well as adults. While parents have the right—and the responsibility—to guide their own children’s reading, that right does not extend to other people’s children. Similarly, each adult has the right to choose their own reading materials, along with the responsibility to acknowledge and respect the right of others to do the same.

When we speak up to protect the right to read, we not only defend our individual right to free expression, we demonstrate tolerance and respect for opposing points of view. And when we take action to preserve our precious freedoms, we become participants in the ongoing evolution of our democratic society.

windows

2010-09-23T11:29:00.000-07:00

N writing on the porch.

N is writing her own Half-Minute Horror* story.
She read it to me, then left it to me to type and edit.
The editing has since morphed into more of a collaboration.

Will have to see if she'll let me post her story.
The working title is: The Door.

Meanwhile, she is still working on her novel; a mystery I think.
That is what she is doing there in the pic, on the porch.

*Half-Minute Horrors edited by Susan Rich

making it home

2010-09-03T14:28:00.000-07:00

beautiful things...

...the daughter is home from camping with her class. as the kids piled off the bus the lovely autumn heat became pungent with the smell of the unwashed. but there was my girl, red cheeks and nose, wild hair.

...we have a new book shelf and the daughter thought we should set at least one aside for theme reads. Sean and I are doing a reading challenge working us up to spectacularly spooky Halloween and N decided to join--and with great aplomb.

...new sheets on the bed. not just clean, but new. they are shiny and soft and vibrant.

a return to...

2010-09-02T10:28:00.000-07:00

beautiful things...

(1) A guy at Sean's work unearthed a box of unopened Samoas Girl Scout Cookies. Sean doesn't care for coconut but he cares for me! When the guy offered him the rest of the box at the end of the day, Sean brought them to home.

(2) The daughter is a school-camp-out-thing so Sean and I drank and drove...Wii MarioKart. It was fun leaving the pizza on the sheet, stocking up on ciders, and playing video games like we were young and just didn't care (because we are, and we didn't).

(3) lunching outside in the back yard on such a pretty day. the morning glories are abundant where we set our picnic table. and the berries are ripening...and the largest known blue spruce in captivity had me imagining it full of pretty color birds..and the guy in his garage/shop next door was sawing things...and there was just enough breeze to cool the sun. it was lovely.

familiar

2010-08-31T16:04:00.001-07:00

just when I worry that the daughter is growing up too quickly, she reminds me in lovely ways that she is still a little girl...

left: o'er the weekend; below: this very afternoon.

Doctor Who?

2010-08-29T14:38:00.000-07:00

We've decided that Natalya is ready for Doctor Who. We started her with the most current run of the series (2005), Season 2, where David Tennant comes on as the Doctor. She is really loving it.
As we were beginning to watch Season 3 I made comment that our friend Gibson could easily pass for the Doctor for Halloween (with Tennant in the role). Natalya goes on to announce that she is going to be the Doctor for Halloween. This was Friday evening? Saturday?

We've been thinking now of how she could be the Doctor. Should she be somewhat reminiscent of David Tennant's Doctor with a flair of her own? Sean knows how to get a sonic screwdriver, and well, the daughter may have the guts to pull this off.

We encourage her to embrace her nerdiness, yes, even in the fifth grade. Would encouraging this be taking things too far?

If she follows through on this plan, will be sure to post pictures.

first monday

2010-08-23T09:33:00.000-07:00

Sean is off to his first day at the new job.

And Natalya is at school.
And I have the day for laundry and organizing piles of unpacked odds&ends and maybe some dishes; and sorting out what I am going to do when those things are more manageable.
I know it is early, but looking over my list, I just want to curl up and take a nap...
maybe on the front stoop looking out over the avenue?

moved...

2010-08-20T13:45:00.000-07:00

I am not blogging to say I blogged over at omphaloskepsis, though I have. I am blogging because I am no longer in the basement. And also, I am getting back on-line after a break this week.

We moved into a lovely little (short-leased) rental this past weekend, see above. Isn't that a stinkin'cute place? It's a renovated 1902. And the inside is like living inside a German chocolate cake with copper embellishments. No, I am not exaggerating. I will post more pics as we go along.

We are almost out of boxes. We have been taking it a little easy, enjoying the new town, getting N situated in her new school (she started Tuesday). S starts his new job next Monday. As for me, I will be finishing getting the house in order and figure out what to do with the self since I will not be going to school as I had planned to this Fall. Yes, I will eventually finish this undergrad. I am going to be collecting brochures and apps for Grad schools, cold call professors, and study for the GRE (yuck!).

Will have to post a pic of the back yard. It is huge, with the largest blue spruce in captivity!

See? A happy energetic post?!

Welcome to my new home.

...donated

2010-08-07T12:07:00.000-07:00

been talking sean and the daughter into posting now and then on that book-ish blog of mine Omphaloskepsis.
(yes, I realize that I am blogging here only to say I am blogging there.)
you should check them out...
will be posting a guest piece by sean on monday on a Nick Sagan book he just finished.
and when Natalya gets back tomorrow, I am going to have her catch up on her one-a-week-donation. i forget what i was exchanging for the favor. i hope she forgot, too; if not i will distract her with the Library-borrowed copy of Rick Riordan's The Red Pyramid she has been waiting for.

almost moved, and as i will no longer be living in the basement of the in-law's house (yes, pity me) i will be sure to manage a positive blogging experience with content that will amuse and inform, and (most importantly) not come back to haunt me at family dinners.

..another time.

2010-07-15T09:26:00.000-07:00

posting over at omphaloskepsis (shocker!).
but you've notice the new button to your right?
test it out for me.

mainly, there is a lot going on that i could post about here.
for madness' sake, i think about 'the goings-on' when i must.
and though blogging could be therapeutic,
i am not counting postings as a 'must' just yet.

Ceola Design Giveaway!

2010-07-09T15:41:00.000-07:00

Ceola Design is having a Giveaway!

Check out Aly's new blog,
her giveaway,
and information on when and where she is displaying her work.

Earrings are hand cut and fused fine silver
wire that have been hammered lightly to
add texture, then darkened and brushed
for a unique finish. Perfect to dress up or
down any outfit!

been vacating...

2010-07-06T10:54:00.000-07:00

over at omphaloskepsis...

and really? must summer be almost past?

as for that project; need to corner Natalya to finish it before she is off to summer camp.

young and old

2010-06-01T12:28:00.000-07:00

Printed out a writing project in progress: working title: The Young Jenavie Twist.

Nate asked me last November to write a story she can read (one we haven't dreamed up together, that is).

I haven't worked on it for a few months, but I have it printed, rough pages and all. I am going to have Natalya read it. I am going to read it. And probably Sean will. And maybe my dad.

Once I draft a bit more on the Young Jenavie, I will return to my older story, about the Older Jenavie Twist.

Sean and I figure if I could get a long project "finished" than Nate will be motivated to finish her long project goals.

Wish us all luck!

***
posted about Scott Westerfeld's Leviathan (Simon Pulse, 2009) over at omphaloskepsis.

gazing elsewhere.

2010-05-29T20:53:00.000-07:00

i have been writing about things i've been reading over at omphaloskepsis of late.
the reasons why have nothing to do with having nothing of interest to report.

i will possibly revive the sleeping Coloring Book soon.

meanwhile... I hope you are well.

linking nie

2010-05-05T12:01:00.000-07:00

I hope you haven't forgotten Stephanie "nienie" Nielson.

she is truly beautiful.

her blog post today is lovely.

it is good to see her and hear her voice.

not faking this...

2010-05-03T13:24:00.000-07:00

big surprise, but i am over at omphaloskepsis today.

it is a lengthy post about faking it.

faking what?

you'll have see.

sahm, wahm...

2010-04-29T11:02:00.001-07:00

tres amusing! read this blog post...

traffic is at a crawl, but is finally moving.

2010-04-22T11:15:00.000-07:00

sitting and waiting for sean to call from the road.... figured i should blog here, though mostly (yet not even lately) i have been over at omphaloskepsis.

sean is on the road to California. we have a contract job that will hopefully become permanent, eventually. we hope to like this job, of course, but primarily we would like consistency of an income. and one can only be on unemployment so long--and i am not solely referring to the psychological toll--you can't be on unemployment for so long: because it goes away, runs out, etc.

we hope to like california. we have friends who are most definitely relatives real close, actually sean is going to live with them for a short while. it will be great to finally live close to one of my nephews!

only a few weeks to the end of school...gotta get those projects done--Nate has a lot of work to do; and is utterly unmotivated of course. but her room is still clean-ish. that was one hurdle.

everything is fast and slow; as time would be consistent that way...

been reading and writing some about reading, but not writing my own. this should be good for the fact that i will be packing; and packing; and harassing the daughter about her homework.

it must be horrible for a child to not get excited or behind a project for school: it really sucks for the parent who thinks the project is ridiculously imagined, too...or at least, the means in which the educational tool must be carried out. alas, i realize i am not a teacher (or trained professional teacher)...just paste on the plastic smile and grumble while not around the short one.

i realize that part of the reason i haven't blogged much is because many of my blogs are either outright depressing or insidiously negative. i have never claimed to be much of an optimist, or even a dweller on sunshine and posies, but what few of those resources have been allotted me are expended elsewhere. i had thought that such resources would replicate with use; you know morph the general attitude or personality into more and more; but i think that conscious level is just relieved to sink back into the familiar frames. that or i think maybe i am going to try out another idea and pair the non-gnashing teeth with more exercise, and chocolate. we'll see.

well, sean called. he is safe, getting lunch, and has had better driving conditions. i think i will go have some lunch of my own...and start on a packing schedule list.

article of criticism

2010-04-05T09:53:00.000-07:00

another article that I will link and not go crazy with....at least here.

A.O. Scott addresses the question of whether there is a Future for Arts Criticism in this New York Times article "A Critic's Place, Thumb and All." Was published 31 Mar 2010.

strapped

2010-03-30T10:20:00.000-07:00

an article I found to be of interest in the New York Times: "For Photographers the Image of a Shrinking Path" by Stephanie Clifford. (Journalists are suffering similarly)

I don't know about you, but I have a large number of friends who are hobbyist and amateur photographers. I also have friends who have schooling in the art and industry.

The article is just another reminder of those gaping wounds we are carrying around, the ones that are caused by unemployment in careers of passion (and student-loans) that are ever stymied by those willing to under-price themselves.

questions of Quality circle round. questions of Budgets.

murmurs run through-out the juvenile and YA book reviewing sphere... quality, cost, marketing, and public consumption... the Architects are at the end of tethers and their conversations are hoarse yells.

I am usually game for the conversation on High Art and Low. At present I contemplate the way such a conversation and economics collide somewhere about the middle between two spectrum's of power: the executive and the consumer. And I am predisposed to argue with little freedom from bias for the 'professional' suffocating in that collision.

I am angry...

“At the moment, it’s just great to have extra money,” [Sharon Pruitt] said.

I agree. And yet I am stuck on the sentence preceding,

The checks are sometimes enough to take the family out to dinner, sometimes almost enough for a mortgage payment.

I am begrudging that dinner out. I am begrudging the "sometimes". I am begrudging the niceties when the present industry employment condition is not a question of livelihoods, but survival.

I despise the state we are in: necessitating hoarding and the cheapening of self-worth alongside the worth of the people around us.

But it is hard to live on exposure alone. And some professionals worry that with ways to make a salary in photography disappearing, the impact will be severe.
“The important thing that a photojournalist does is they know how to tell the story — they know they’re not there to skew, interpret or bias,” said Katrin Eismann, chairwoman of the Masters in Digital Photography program at the School of Visual Arts in New York. “A photographer can go to a rally or demonstration, and they can make it look as though 10 people showed up, or 1,000 people showed up, and that’s a big difference. I’m not sure I’m going to trust an amateur to understand how important that visual communication is.”
“Can an amateur take a picture as good as a professional? Sure,” Ms. Eismann said. “Can they do it on demand? Can they do it again? Can they do it over and over? Can they do it when a scene isn’t that interesting?”
But amateurs like Ms. Pruitt do not particularly care.
“I never followed any traditional photography rules only because I didn’t know of any — I never went to photography school, never took any classes,” she said. “People don’t know the rules, so they just shoot what they like — and other people like it, too.”

Who is like Ms. Pruitt who "do not particularly care?" Her 99 dollar digital camera has since paid for itself.
And times are a changing...they always are changing, are they not?
and aren't we good little capitalists?
I will take your broken boot strap and slap you in the face with it.

is there room enough for all of us?

there are family friends who encouraged their son to go into the more practical artistic avenue of graphic design (yes, I, too, am smirking) over the Starving Artist route. Even my darling husband had use his Art degree to find expression and practicality in Architecture over his first loves.
Interesting how the pursuit of dreams, and the pragmatism of survival are both, simultaneously, the American Dream... How sad that our staid Individualism (that is quintessentially American) disallows either from occurring.

what the hell are we doing to each other, and ourselves?

when you reach me

2010-03-04T10:28:00.000-08:00

blogged about the 2010 Newbery winner by Rebecca Stead: When You Reach Me.

over at omphaloskepsis, of course.

otherwise: been fairly absent...

...been away

2010-02-23T11:32:00.000-08:00

away.

the continual quakes and fissures

2010-01-22T10:40:00.000-08:00

i came across a big rumbling in the juvenile/YA literature blogosphere. it is rarely so enlightening to peruse all the blog roll links available. and i have been perusing links, trying to fit in more on-line reads and follow trends, etc. today i hit a gold mine--the kind of conversation i like to witness, and sometimes participate.

it was confusing to follow something everyone seemed to understand, jumping into the posts/conversations late...and then there was the "if you are ignorant of what is going on, then that is your fault and are part of the system" accusations. alienating language for a would-be-enlightened cog like me.

then i followed the link to this blog, Chasing Ray, who outlined much of the goings-on. This was also a helpful post to track down, on Color Online.

there is, and rightfully so, concern of publishing industry White-washing (please note the capitalized White---I am sensitive to this distinction). tacked onto the protest is also the misrepresentation of the protagonist or content in ways other than the changing the skin-color on the cover (though this is a main concern). did you read the post by Chasing Ray? please do, before continuing further...

now. is this where i defend my views, my ignorance, or toss cents into the pot? nah... but i thought i would share the goings on, for those who may be interested, or enlightened.

**another post on the subject of interest: Justine Larbalestier

mostly there this week....

2010-01-14T14:36:00.000-08:00

finished reading The Book Thief by Markus Zusak on Tuesday, and got around to posting some thoughts on it over on omphaloskepsis today.

challenge/project

2010-01-11T15:13:00.000-08:00

natalya has the periodic desire to be published. we created a photo book through our friend Jen's site remarkable tributes for the grandparents this christmas and interlaced some of this year's poetry.

i have seen tikatok through barnes & noble's site, but was given renewed interest via commonsensemedia.org. it was timely as natalya came up to the shoulder and suggested she could write something to be bound in 'book' form.

Tikatok allows a parent to create an account and add their children (w/ names other than the ones you've given them). You and they can upload words and illustrations into a user-friendly program. you can store the stories on-line for free. You can order the books to be bound and gift them, or have them for self, or buy the book in electronic form to download as you would any e-book.

the submissions are yours, the devices/tools are theirs.

we'll see how this goes. we set up an account yesterday.

natalya asked if i were going to use it. i shrugged and suggested i had other means. she only deflated a slight bit. so i think i will have to come up with a nice short juvenile story to put up and illustrate. maybe see who can finish a story first, nate or myself...a bit of motivation...and fun.

heights linked

2010-01-09T11:31:00.000-08:00

finished Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte and wrote about it at omphaloskepsis.

she reads to me

2010-01-08T16:09:00.001-08:00

She reads to me.

Natalya reading N.E.R.D.S.: National Espionage, Rescue, and Defense Society by Michael Buckley. Her good friend Anna gifted her a signed copy (1st ed.--a new series).

Nate likes to read aloud. It helps with fluency. and really, for a long time, she thought that was the only way to read. Some would argue that aloud is the only way to read.

we are grooming her for a fall-back, or potentially star-lit, career in audiobooks.

She is quite good.

She does not try to affect a falsetto, but rather the intonations of a voice. I like this.

if only to get her to read her Spanish books aloud to me. .

2010

2010-01-06T14:01:00.000-08:00

as much as i resolve not to make resolutions, i do...regularly. however, there is something to the impetus of those resolving to make positive changes around you.

for 2010:

maybe the guitar this year (has been on the list a while now)

learn to crochet (since mom gave me some supplies for it last christmas)

read more

write more--finish projects.

shed some weight

blog better...

organize and manage the time better.

wow...not daunted, just exhausted. and slightly embarrassed as the list just sounds like someone entering life.

how many days into 2010 are we?

exclamation point

2009-12-17T16:06:00.000-08:00

tomorrow is that early early early drive to denver (thanks father-in-law, bob)!
by mid-day i will be with mom and dad!!
and then sean flies in later that evening!!
i am excited!
really!
more than i should be, probably!!

i think i have it all crammed into cases, heavy suitcases...and i hope that i will sleep.. and that i won't get sick on the plane.. just the thought of having anxiety issues (muscle tightening) while trapped on a plane for hours------------

i would take a muscle relaxer beforehand but i am anxious about it knocking my equilibrium off just enough to have me really sick...

deep breath.

i am so ready to be there.

maybe i'll take the relaxer tonight.

but then i have to be up super early, what if i sleep through--it can really knock me out.

really, i am so excited to be going... it is the getting there.

happy holiday...

happy happy holidays---to me, and mine---and you, and yours....

safe travels.

safe, anxiety free traveling....!!!

matters of sweetness

2009-12-07T13:12:00.000-08:00

read and finished Molly Gloss' Jump-Off Creek. do read, even if you don't tend to read westerns or historical-like fictions set in the West or NorthWest's West. wrote some on it here.

nate is home with me today, stomach pains. trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, of course. and when we agreed to terms she stayed home, slept in, and has been not too whiny.
One of the terms to agree upon was there would be no candy...even if the advent calendar drawer has candy... she brought me the cellophane wrapped candy raspberries. I remember wrapping them in twos, one red, one black, for the first part of the 24 days... she brought me one.
"where is the other one?"
"what?"
"the black one, natalya. where is it?"
"there was only one."
"Oh? did you eat it?"
"No."
"you didn't?"
"No."
"Look at me and say it."
"No, i did not eat it."
"do you think your dad did?"
"I don't know, maybe."
"You ate it."
"No."
"I can smell it on your breath."
"what?"
"Say 'hello'."
"hello."
"Again."
"hello."
"I smell it on your breath, you ate it."
"darn it.--i couldn't help it, they're so sweet."
"we agreed, no candy."
"darn it.....darn it."

friday 13...etsy (pt 5)

2009-12-04T12:31:00.000-08:00

counting down to the christmas vacation...

and I am back to reading again: Molly Gloss' Jump-Off Creek (a western). I met Ms. Gloss: a very intelligent and engaging woman: a northwestern woman: of the earth and a determined spirit. I can easily recommend any of her books (either western, sci-fi, or northwestern)--she is literature.
...
...
...
...
today is for sheer visual pleasure...a random thirteen that are not so random. some are beautiful due to their sheer existence and presentation of form...others are for the visions, the daydreams... some are affordable, so not so easily acquired; but I do find joy in the knowledge they exist...

**********
*******
****
*
COU COU...I see you

Imagine Studio

(check out this shop)
*****

Midnight Stroll Dress

Sarah Seven

(out of Portland, Or. gorgeous concoctions)
*****

Blushing in Pink

Ouma Clothing by Ouma

(a lot of loveliness at this shop)
*******

Scalloped Bridal Shrug Lace (beaded)

Rohm

(love this shop--the shrugs and the mantilla veils)
****

couture bridesmaid dresses (1 of 4)

Flowers and Butterflies

(i've posted two of the others before...)
*****

Chickadee, Chickadee, I Dreamt You Wove My Hair for Me

The Extent of Silence: art by Amariah Rauscher

(found this happiness just the other day...her drawings are fantastic)
******

La Carmaux

Makool

(i love most everything made here--mind the details here)
******

Sterling Silver Celtic Budding Spiral Pendant

by Nicholas and Felice

(love the celtic knots they do..if you are a scarf or broach wearer, go here.)
****

The White Shirt-Katharine

The Little Nothings

(an example of fine tailoring, and cleverness)
******

All About a Violet BOW-clutch

Davie and Chiyo

(an iteration of me would own this..the same who would wear a ballgown everyday..and who weighs as she did freshman year college.)
*****

Ruffle Dress

liza rietz

(i am drawn to the dress as someone with shoulders should...just pretty)
*****

Winter Berries 4

Ebony Paws Creative

*****

Red Poppy evening gown

Ruby Pearl

(hit and miss, but the shop 'welcome' paragraph is worth a read...and the whimsy of the girl dresses.. this red dress, though, is enough for me.)

N and a book list

2009-12-02T14:07:00.000-08:00

someone other than myself asked natalya for a list of books that would interest a girl her age. she rattled off a list.. i posted it at omphaloskepsis. at a glance i note missing books, but alas, creating a list made the short one decide she should get to reading the closest at hand...

as for before: i was here...and now, i am exhausted. and i have a lot of reading to catch up on, let alone cleaning.

at random-etsy (pt 4)

2009-12-01T07:03:00.000-08:00

survived black friday, and all the cybermonday ads. yes, i was up before daybreak in a line in the freezing cold! but what can i say, the 45 minutes in line at best buy felt necessary...the old laptop was---old. and it really was. it was ancient by today's standards. the poor thing was dying, and it was becoming difficult not to help it along.

the thanksgiving holiday weathered, i am looking forward to christmas. it is not even bothering to creep up this year. and how i will pack things will be an extra challenge.

now for a cautionary tale about the value and sentiment of home-made: natalya accidentally forgot to bring home her "blankie" a quilt her great-grandma Irma made for her. (this is also why you should not pack last minute.) would anything else do? --well one thing, HOWEVER, the theatrics involved this statement: "grandma Irma made it just for me, thinking about me when she made it, you can't replace that!"
oh, yes, i let her cry and scream in the bedroom for about 30 minutes. fearing she was bringing (more) curses down upon our house, i showed great love and unselfishness and offered up HoneyBear (my stuffed bear from childhood) as a "temporary fix, natalya."
the blanket is in the mail. and if it does, in fact, become lost, i will unleash her on the usps.

*
***
*****
*******Locket: Garden Gate (jet black floral)

at M Stevenson Designs
****

TEQUILA MOCKING BIRD / large pleated hobo

at JennJohn's Handbags
***

Bird Measuring Spoons

by Beehive Kitchenware Co
****

Perched Botanical Bird

at Modern Bird [by Laura Flavin]

*****

Retro Plate Set

from Just Pottery
****

Messenger Bag--Halo

in Bobbin's Studio
****

The Book Fairy bookplates

from The Little Fox
****

Cozy/Cuff--in light green wool felt

by Megan Auman: Jewelry and Sculptural Objects.
****

One of a Kind Optic Bound Journal--orange

at AyBeeCees
****

Tie Me Up Tie Me Down ultra mini skirt

at Glamarita by Glamarita
*****

iPhone Wallet (and other)--gray wool felt

at kazzki by kazzki
****

Girl size leg warmers (but they have unisex warmers)

at Misiku Knits by Misiku
******

Teitur (a pattern)

by Rasmilla
****

Wrap-Around Kimono Dress

by HappyBanyan
****

Edie, The Large Elephant

at Rabbits Moon
****

Reusable U-fill Advent Calendar

at Lotus Paperie
****

Flower Paradise-Popwall decal

at Pop Wall
****

Custom Made Woobies--this in silky cocoa and damask

by My Wooby and Me
(and no I hadn't heard this term for it since childhood)
****

Crocheted Hat with Ears and Flower in Autumn Red

at Karenisa's Lily Lu Shoppe
****

Elvira (a knitting pattern)

by Rasmilla
****

Sage Green Scarflette for Children

by Zaynee Designs
****

Palmeira

by Da Silva Studios
****

The Dark Countess Hand-Felted One Shoulder Collar

at Odds & Ends: handcrafted accessories, by Elena
****

006 Elastic Headband

at L'ape Zoppa
****

Pure Linen Pleated Tunic (made to order!)

at Larime Loom's Shop (handmade clothing for women)

etsy xmas (3)--print.

2009-11-20T11:23:00.000-08:00

art is an excellent gift year-round and for no-reason-at-all-occasions. originals are perhaps best, but unless you get the artist early, or are related to them, it can get pretty pricey--but alas, it is an investment---and by investment, i don't mean resale value necessarily, i mean sheer pleasure.

i had a few more "art & illustrations" than i had anticipated. but then, there a lot more i am sure i didn't mark. quite a few, i like the store; two or three, just the individual print. i really like the stores that have expanded into putting their original as a print on everything, mainly because that means i could afford them, and even share them.

(i left out the photo, and 3d--sculpture, because well, there are plenty of those as well, even one sculpture whom i saw his work on the front page of the paper yesterday: yep, a coloradan.)

*****
********
***********

these top two shops are vacationing (and one i didn't pull the banner for because i like the art that wasn't represented in it (and i didn't want to scare you).

**

it.s not as fun as it looks

sketchbook girl no. 14

both by k*smith at Unconventional Ida's

*****
1/50...imagine

The Grand Reach

both by Cori Dantini at Corid

(because fun should take all forms, and especially one i wouldn't mind mimicking)
*****

The Lesson, Silhouette Print
of The Little Chickadee

(i don't know if you noticed, but silhouettes are returning more and more. if you want yours done, and don't want to do it yourself, there are people who will: Nie over at nieniedialogues is taking holiday orders).

***

Mysterious Lady, Print

Plume Perles et Dentelles (Print)

both Sybile at Sybile's Art Shop

(yes, i randomly picked 2)

***

Smiths Girl Print

Bubblegum Betty

by Emily Martin of The Black Apple

(i do like this shop, and was glad to see she is a portlander, and on the wall at a friend's house...now to decide which one for my wall--little wonder said friend had 3).

*****

Librarian Bookended Print

Audrey Print

both by Brigette B. of Miss Brigette's Shop

(she made paperdolls for the above Librarian, humorous and fun.)
****

Medusa, digital print

Alice in Wonderland-paper puppet kit

illustration by Brian Gubicza at Goobeetsa

(i am taken with the Medusa print, and the dolls are fun, otherwise...)
****

Sister (red), art print

Athena, art print

by Tabitha Bianca Brown at ThePairABirds.

(aren't these great?! just found these (and her others) just the other day.)

****

Flowers and Polka Dots

I Think I'm in Love

both by Rosie Music

*****

an example of this artist's "custom heirloom children's portrait."

Peregrine, the Pirate's Daughter

by Maia Chavez Larkin at The Voyager's

(she is out of Denver........i love the faces in her paintings.)

**********

Kitty Girl

Becoming Queen

both by Andrea Zuill at BadBird

(have loved the BadBird shop since first seeing Becoming Queen, not entirely sure why, but i do like it..and the artist has more on her own website worth checking out, too.)
****

Litte Trike

Magenta Blossoms with Tiny Tree Frog, art print

both by Arin Fishkin at Arinfish

(The Magenta Blossoms was what attracted me to her shop. i like her work, epecially her use of patterns and colors.)
***

Autumn

Girl with Skinned Knee

both by At Whim

(love this shop.. and one of the best things about this artist, is that she sells in Portland, at Powell's!--check out her shop for info, and to browse.)
***

Clouds 13

Leap 141

both by Roz at RozArt

(i just picked a random two, because--if you check out the shop, you will see why...considering one of the cow's for my mom... but i love the leaping and the floating through the clouds.)
*****

Groundhog Hair, print.

Black Swan, print.

both by Amber Alexander at Amber Alexander's Shop

(i followed the Black Swan a long while ago and found this shop both amusing and disturbing--it is the dressed animals--but her work is wondermous.)

***

I'm Late 7/100

Illumination

both by Anne-Julie Aubry at The Nebulous Kingdom

(yes, i am a fan...)

an etsy xmas (part 2)

2009-11-18T07:35:00.001-08:00

the annual debate continues: should christmas start before thanksgiving?--the buying/selling we mean, and the endless supply of carols...

i think the answer to the problem is to move up thanksgiving...hmm, but what about halloween? the thing is, with one month to ship things? --or a month to custom tweak something to personalize it for my loved-one? it gets tricky.
and then there is "black friday" the shadow to the otherwise bright and glowing thursday before. the day before we are thankful that we have all that we need and the next day we elbow to get what we want. maybe we should move thanksgiving to june...is there a holiday in june? we could have the pilgrim men without their wool stockings and the women sweating profusely. and we could serve fruit salad. alright, now i am being rude.
one of these times, i am sure i will find thanksgiving to be enough of a holiday to argue the over-crowding. in the meantime, i think i will keep browsing for the things that are lovely, and the things that could make a sweetie smile...

*******
*****
***
*

My Only Friend
by Anne-Julie Aubrey of The Nebulous Kingdom

(i do so love her work--this one especially because she reminds me of a character i am writing)

Fancy Peacock Hair clip
of PixiE GlamouR

(the big feathery-or flowery-or ribbony clips are the way of it, and peacocks are on the brain because friend Cheryl made this awesome costume for her daughter for halloween--she was a peacock (a very glamorous one, of course).

Vintage WILLSON Steampunk goggles at edm designs

(because you really can...and because steampunk is very interesting.)in short: The Original--Vintage Steampunk Ornate Silver Butterfly and Rose Gold Ruby Jewelled Watch Movement ---another from edm designs.

(there other, not The Original, caught my eye first because the butterfly is the red you see and the rest is antique brass, etc.)Steampunk Jewelry Watch Movement cufflinks
from London Particulars

(There are a lot of watch cufflinks on etsy!
(sean would like a pair, with shirts that have cuffs)
if i knew more about watch innards i would probably cull more quickly as different shops seem to honor one brand of machination. this shop and edmdesigns are consistently the loveliest. I do like this shop.)

Vintage Swiss Pinstripe Pattern...with Peridot....
by edmdesigns.

(overwhelmed, i sent sean to the two shops to narrow things a bit. he found this.--it is nice.)

Steampunk Ring--Vintage Barrel Spring Pocket Watch... edmdesigns

(no, i did not mean to feature so many of edmdesigns' products)

Melancholy Lashes
at Untamed Menagerie

(like most things liked and marked, this favorite is sold, but the shop is a good one, and i try not to get too sad.)

Victorian Red Enameled Butterfly necklace
by AbeAndElsie

(they have a purple one we are considering for natalya. and yes, sean says he could teach me to enamel, it isn't hard (except finding a kiln) but just the same...)

Custom Couture Girls Boutique Bridesmaid Dress (1 of 4)
by Flowers and Butterflies

(this isn't even the one i love best, as i am saving it for another day, but this and the next are part of the set of four.)

Gem Silk Dress and Antique Lace Pouf Sleeve Shrug
from Holly Stalder

(gorgeous)

Avant Garde Marionette (black silk party dress) from Louise Black

(found this just the other day---i really, really love it!)

Black Pure Cashmere...Long Victorian Swing Trench Coat....
from yystudio

(they say "free international shipping" isn't that the spirit of the holidays?--or any day? there are lovely things at this shop...and they customize sizes, etc, so you don't have to be a size 0 to nothing to shop here, unlike some other shops at etsy.)

Anastasia--Ruffly Pinstripe Spats with Straps
from Ashes and Empires

(not entirely sure where this love of spats comes from, but this shop has had a few that i like (one sold--sigh)--but like several things i like, too, i don't know if i would wear it--sure i could find an occasion--though, does one really need an occasion?--just the right size, and shoe maybe: i do like that shoe, too).
************************************************

maybe some of the issue with christmas shopping/giving is the lack of quality and a gifts fairly quick shove into the garbage, or behind the couch. browsing for quality, finding sales in time to ship without stress, an ability to create and re-create without skimping, that wouldn't offend thanksgiving would it?--the thoughtfulness that is in the whole of the two seasons?

etsy xmas (day one)

2009-11-17T07:52:00.001-08:00

No, the photo to the left has nothing to do with this post, except that that princess (who is no longer 4) is on the mind just as often these days as the upcoming Christmas season. Note her inherited desire for fashion, accessory, and the ball gowns...also, the uniqueness of ensemble.

So, if you know me, you know I am a fan of etsy.com. I don't make anything and sell, and I wish I had the funds to buy the many things I have added to my "favorites." I do pine, and opine. I love to browse.

Up to my Christmas vacation to elsewhere, I am going to post etsy-faves (mine and perhaps others').

Etsy is fun and inspiring, and I think it is good to support handmade, and smaller than department store businesses. That plenty of shops are out of Portland, Oregon, I have plenty of opportunity to shop local!--whether you live there or no, it is good to support Portlanders.

Below are three of my good Portland friends--family, really--who have shops in etsy's market place. (keep an eye on their shops, as they will be adding more as the season progresses, and time allows---apparently several in-home parties are being hosted and I can only sigh from afar.--sigh.)

*
***
*****
*******

The Quietly Fuschia "Ruffled" Scarf

The Cream in My Coffee Cowl

**

Katherine's shop is: arisearise.

(and why yes, that scarf is on my Christmas list...
and the above depicted princess', too.)

*******************************************************

Bit of Sparkle bracelet

Original Collage Metal Pendant

**
Aly's shop is: ceola.

"My passion is creating unique jewelry that puts a modern twist on classic design. Each piece is influenced by my love of art, nature, music, graffiti, and walks through the city. I strive to create sophisticated pieces that are rich with character and truly reflect the soul of personal style."--ceola

(i do like her metal work and design, note that in all her pieces.)

*************************************************************************

Scarlatto bag

Grigio clutch

**

Tanya's shop: TLee Design : Luxe, upcycled handbags.

"All of my handbags are primarily made from recycled leather and other unique, re-purposed materials. Each is handmade in my studio and I have lots of fun designing every piece! Every handbag is unique and unusual."--TLee Design

(i think that outer pocket on the Scarlatto bag is clever...well, and the fact it is red... a red clutch with a clever pocket.....alas, i will leave the design work to Tanya--confidently so.)

***************************************************************

you will see (and possibly thank me) that all that time browsing etsy.com is worth the while. At the very least, this post is worth yours. check out these three shops at etsy.

...where i am.

2009-11-16T11:00:00.000-08:00

i posted over at omphalospkepsis, here, because i am hardly blogging right now with all the other writing i am doing.

i am ahead on my nanowrimo-ing schedule, which is good because i don't write during the weekend or even much on mondays. i hope to stay ahead, because of the holiday, and the end of the month is closing in and christmas-thoughts are increasing--fortunately, no holiday songs have sprung to mind as Jingle Bells does not count.

so i am still here, typing away in the basement, wearing my warm socks and sweaters and debating the usual: what to eat? should i read or sleep? and do i have time for an uninterrupted write?

the short that might

2009-11-04T12:21:00.000-08:00

in case you didn't know NaNoWriMo is for the month of November. And if you don't know what it is, here is a link.

thought to do it last year, but with school, i was a some thousand words short, even though i had a pretty good writing idea.

this year, i've the time, but no novel-length idea...yet.

however, i thought a collection of shorts might work, if i can get at least 7 averaging a little over 7,000 words each, or 5 at 10,000. right now, it as at least 7 in my mind because a short i think i finished today was a little less than 7000 (6800-ish).

so i finished one ( i think ) today. I got the story to an end, and the lines i had somewhat envisioned... and i sent it to sean. it is tricky to have a clear end in mind, especially if the story seems to have a mind of its own, or it isn't cooperating... part of my dilemma arose when i wrote in a character i soon thought i better kill off, but then couldn't...but i couldn't go back and un-write the character cause i'd given it a name!! really, the easiest name of whole short story to come to me, too...

if it works out, and i polish it a little, i may post it on a locked blog-site and you can email me (or comment it when i announce a posting) and i will send an invite. and why the locked site?--because it might actually be an alright piece of work.

mostly, i am riding on a high (however momentary) of finishing something (even first drafted).

time for a stretch, a drink, and maybe some halloween candy.

lines

2009-11-03T09:15:00.000-08:00

i will pull together some of the halloween pics and post them, eventually. great pumpkin carving this year (of course) and nate looked as wondermous as ever. she was a warrior princess, of her own creation--which was tricky, but it turned out.
the weather was downright warm during the afternoon, and the evening was cloudless, and wind-less. it was ideal. the neighborhood was full of lit porches and candy...nate got two houses last pieces of candy (less than an hour in--it was that busy).

***

have tickets to go home for christmas....when was the last time?? we are looking forward to it!

***

been trying to write, but mostly been reading books and on-line... a lot of poetry.

***

well, that is the thrilling news update...fill in at will.

cheers

2009-10-20T11:07:00.000-07:00

so i read yesterday's post today. hmmm, did sound a bit distressing.

alas, it was not yet a cry for help...as those (in my case) tend to be shorter (a few lines) and involving at least one or two expletives (between gasps of raging despair).

***

Natalya is starting her unit of Poetry for her TAG-Reading class. Yeah, the packet she brought home yesterday (that we went through like a college bulletin/catalog) read like a syllabus. so, if she decides she wants an "A" (for a grade) and puts that on her contract (not kidding) then that means lots of homework--because the packet was for personal, on-your-own-time work, because they will be doing work in class too. Wouldn't want her to not feel special.
I mean, I am glad we got her tested (re-tested because apparently Oregon's acceptance of her TAG qualifications were not good enough), but man-alive! Good thing bibliographies are busy work for English Majors. course, i had to have her ask her teacher whether they want MLA or Chicago-style. I hope she remembers to ask; either before or after she signs up for conference time to go over her contract (and its required tasks).
Really, when i met the TAG coordinator/teacher the other night at conferences I was expecting an apology for doubting Nate's brilliance, instead, the woman was blown-away by Nate's communication skills, as in: "I'm not sure if you realize this, but I don't know what you guys are doing, or why, because all around it appears chaotic, and i can't work this way!"
Natalya can be timid, and fairly non-confrontational. The situation must have been pretty intense for Natalya to remember mine and sean's advice: talk to the teacher about it.

Natalya and i went over the options under the different headings for the various kinds of assignments outlined. some sounded really interesting, some "maybe another time," and others were "um, I don't understand that one." i could divide it out more, there were lots of options, except on the "Challeng Activities" which Nate would have to do 2 (for an A), and we only really liked 2.
Then we went to the not-our-usual library to see if there were any biographies she might like better (from a much bigger selection) for another school assignment. then we hit up the poetry section--both kids and adults, couldn't find the teen section.
Natalya was reading from Penguin's Book of Limmericks over breakfast, she likes limmericks. and it was great: literary limmericks, not bar/pub limmericks. lots of famous authors, too. i found one by Dylan Thomas, was excited.. and glad i read it to myself first... it was sorta naughty. Nate was reading from the first page. the second page had one with sh*! in the fourth line. i almost dropped a plate i was holding. I suggested she might scan for certain words before reading them aloud--especially since she was taking the massive tome for some light on-the-bus or at-the-playground reading.
possibly more than limmericks, N likes the haiku; possibly because she knows i don't care for them. so she is chosing to do a haiku about how a rock that she finds and picks up and puts in her hand feels.

She is also, besides a biography-timeline-project assignment, Poetry Unit, and regular homework, she is reading a lengthy biography on Tesla (because they are study electricity and i told her Tesla was fascinating, and relevant), and she is writing bi-lingually a story--because "I am inspired by Pam Munoz Ryan, and mi maestra Senora Claflin."
i need to write up a contract for her to sign, because i am leary of the verbal agreement that she will be a good (and organized) manager of her time, and that mom will only nag with regards to daily assignments, and spelling homework.--cause we both hate when i have to nag.

a bit of a downer

2009-10-19T10:53:00.000-07:00

gearing up for a long week. i have plans, of course, never a shortage of those... but the question as ever present is: "Will I do any of those things?"
i am starting to feel like i am the person balancing out all those other busy and "productive" lives. which wouldn't be bad if i could be paid to do it, or it involved a reward of a sort.

anywho... we were in abq this weekend and got to hang-out with friends, saw a movie, ate green chile breakfast burritos at the Frontier. it was fun and exhausting, and yes, i still do not care much for abq. but it was good to get out of the house.

ready for halloween to be here already, but with everything magically in place. Nate is being especially difficult on the costuming this year (among other things).

i am not going to drink anything caffineinated unless it is tea. when my father-in-law asked if he could pick up any soda at the store, i said no. and i am really resisting the snacking. and i am really trying to think of foods i am actually interested in eating, instead of feeding myself the same old foods that seem to keep reappearing on my plate.

i am really really looking forward to christmas. another plan that have no list behind it.

i could be it is monday and i haven't had caffeine and the nap i took to recover from yesterday did not yield the best results. may be i am sucking it all in before nate gets off the bus. could be that i wiped more than the sleepies from my eyes this morning...

may be i need a moment (or two) to be a bit grumbly--not that i am ever suzy-sunshine.

bans and other such nonsense

2009-10-02T11:28:00.000-07:00

wrote about the perks of being a wallflower by Stephen Chbosky here, at omphaloskepsis. it was the first banned book for my late start into banned books week. finished it on wednesday. yesterday i read Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury: it was...i'm not entirely sure yet. Oh, but before Bradbury, i read Allen Ginsberg's Howl, again, a great work--and its contraversy (content-wise) obvious. not sure what i will read to day, around the things that need getting done.. maybe The Sound and The Fury by William Faulkner. I think all his works have been challenged or banned at one point. Actually, there are a lot of Southern authors whose books have been protested, many many more than other regions.

**********

Sean comes home tonight.. yay!

and in other news: Natalya and i agreed that if she doesn't want to brush her hair in the mornings: she gets to see the consequences. She is one more morning away from us making the same agreement on finished homework. I realize i am not the most patient person, and that i cannot disagree with the daughter as to the questionable logic of some of the assignments (or their lack of clarity) but then, i am not the one who will miss recess time. i tell her this is training, accumulate another life skill, they are just preparing you for the corporation--a good little citizen. of course, this couched lately among her social studies discussions on law-making etc.. and us (family members) telling her that some time rebellion is necessary and should be available to a country's citizenry--questioning is good, etc...

natalya had her presentation on her book project yesterday.. it went well, she felt. and she is very aware of how she feels on everything on every level of feeling. her latest most shared concern though is the physical: there are 29 students in her class and 15 have been out "sick." With the newer policies, even if it isn't with the pig, any fever is treated seriously and means days out. i think other than the hormones and the rapid aging?--she appears okay to me.

last night we had mcdonald's because there was a fundraiser for MIL's school where she teachers (you know how these things work). they offered to buy, and i like the occasional (though rarely occuring) big mac. Natalya almost lost it. she does not do mcdonalds, ever since she has been educated, and her teacher read and relayed information from Super Size Me last year...though she rebelled the year before because that teacher believed in healthy-living and ate lunch with his students every day and had them do yoga as a calming and centering exercise daily--i miss mr. henderson, and you too, ms. murphy.

alright.. off to do--something others would deem productive.

Sleepy's daughter

2009-09-30T12:02:00.000-07:00

Natalya is masterful at pushing off bedtime. She always has been. When she was a baby she would wait just long enough, then cry and mess her diaper (or was it mess and then cry). Then she realized I was such a softy that she needn't worry about the mess, just cry for longer than 5 minutes.
Then (in toddler-hood) she figured out that if she didn't drink much during the day i would worry she'd dehydrate and so when she needed a drink after 20 minutes of lying in bed listening for Sean and I to settle into something, how could I refuse? --she still uses this technique.
Among her most sly, since she could speak clear enough for me to understand, was/is to ask some philosophical question that no parent (who desperately wants to establish the communication that will weather the teen years) could refuse to address.
She has nightmares. "But, Natalya, you haven't even fallen asleep yet. I just closed the door and you were just singing to yourself." "It was more of an image, scary thoughts, mama." --sigh.
She needs to talk about her day, and its various and sundry traumas. And then, could we please go over a few scenarios each and any possible solution, to not exclude fantastical intervention? This is why she is not as forthcoming as she could be over the dinner table, or before/after homework, or before bath...
She is wise enough to not overuse her varying strategy, and to not use the most irresistible too frequently, and never as a first resort (unless it is really late to begin with).
Lately, it has been "let's exploit mom's passions and interests." The other night it was "Mom teach me about poetry." Now, she doesn't ask just before bed. Her concept of time has matured, she can now actually tell time (this is what they learn in school). So she asks early enough to get a "sure, love to." but not early enough to keep her from eagerly (though yet to be subtly) keep the conversation or lessons moving forward and trying to distract mom from the actual time. Unfortunately, I get tired with the clock so she can not keep me from knowing the time.. and when she tries this with Sean, he is more strict about bedtimes. ---note: it is working, however, perfectly with Bob and Chess Lessons.
The other night? we did stay up later than I would have wanted, because the Poetry Lesson was fun, and Natalya does have a knack for the subject.
Last night? Let's write a poem together, spend some time. which makes me suspicious of a new tactic: "I know mom wants quality time." This is where she lazes about her homework, plays elsewhere in the house, is distracted or busy, and then before bed wants to spend time with mom! "I just want to spend some time with you mom..."
Last night? we started a poem. I write poems when the mood strikes, or am warmed-up from writing other things. I was cold, and tired. Our poem is called "A Walk to the Bank." It is a subject other than Nature (Natalya's favorite muse), and Nate pulled it from thin air. When it is done--because it was getting really, really late (Natalya actually yawned, even though, when asked, she never does)--I will post it. I think you will be able to tell Natalya's lines. We alternated. If you've read her poetry, or not, you will be able to tell. Hers sounds like a real poet's work. If we were to do a professional edit, mine is the ghost hand that keeps the poem in the abstract, less a prose short story; which Natalya discovered a short story that sounds more like a free verse poem. I had to show her the pages I was reading to convince her that Sandra Cisneros had chosen the short story format (which we discussed poetic/prose options 'the other night'). I've been thinking about creating an Anthology (have to research the legalities) for Nate for when she never leaves home of all our favorite works, excerpts, both authored by us and others. Meanwhile, I think I will have to buy two copies of a couple of Cisneros' works; and while I am at it pick up another of William Carlos Williams collections: She is going to love him.---I'm just waiting for her to ask to read some of his works (or other such favorites) for before bed reading...then she'll be up past Sean's bedtime. I would say past mine, but I am the most ready-to-sleep in the family.

a few notes

2009-09-29T12:02:00.000-07:00

I finished reading Michael Buckley's The Sisters Grimm: The Everafter War and finished writing about it here. It is a bit of a continuation of the other day, which I did post on this blog, but I will just link it today instead. though the post is a short one.

***

started a bit of a story the other day and though it won't be a long story (I can tell) i have been feeling tired and lazy toward it. thought i would jump start my resolve with an aspect of the story that needs taken care of: a character's name. It really is amazing he would stay nameless for so long, but i have had an annoying time settling on a name. the easy solution is to put it on facebook. and i have had incredible results, now to sift through the names, and thank everyone for their brilliant, if not often humorous replies.--thanks.

***

nate had a good time at the wedding this past weekend, though, as per usual, after these trips she is exhausted (physically and emotionally). she is one conflicted girl of late, and i don't know if it is physical ailments stressing her, or emotional fatigue ailing her physical body. it is beginning to wear us both out. thinking about it and i need a nap. let us just blame it on doing homework and never make her do homework again--especially the...nevermind.

***

been reading a lot of good writing lately and one could think that doing so would encourage excellent writing as a response (in the reader). i am finding it mostly intimidating, and depressing. then i read a reasonably well-told story, nothing too exciting or genius about it, just entertaining and recommended, and i think maybe some person (reader) may just be able to write a story people will want to publish and read. just a thought.

***

i'm not sure the caffiene is working...hopefully, before nate's ballet practice... hopefully before time to do the homework.

sleepy head

2009-09-25T15:19:00.000-07:00

posted about Sherman Alexie's The Lone Ranger and Tonto Fistfight in Heaven here.

***

woke before the sun and drove nate up to denver international airport. a daunting task on many levels, least of which was that it was pitch black and wet out.
will be glad to have her home early sunday...
in the meantime, sean is on his way home, and i am glad he and nate will get to see each other for a little while on sunday before he has to go back to abq.

came home and crashed. slept good and hard. now to make use of the few quiet hours and get a few things done... like maybe another nap?

hoot & grimm

2009-09-24T13:38:00.000-07:00

taking a break from grown-up-Lit for moment in order to read some kid-Lit: The Sisters Grimm: The Everafter War by Michael Buckley. Primarily, to take a break, and also, because Nate read it within two visits to the book shop and i just got it from the library holding realm. Only a couple chapters in: not bad, keeps with the other 6 (previous books in the series: which, we actually own--thank you Powell's books and your supply of well-cared-for used books). i was thinking, however, that it must be exhausting to come up with clever ways to recap all your previous books and adventures along with reminding any new reader of the premise so carefully and fully laid out in at least the first two books of the series by the seventh book. one of the reasons it pays to have to wait between books? so the recap isn't a skim read? ... and how to keep the adventures coming without feeling like the over-arching dilemma is being too-long stretched?: curious how Buckley is going to pull this off, because this 7th book is a 'to be continued...' (which, incidently, made natalya groan).

trying to get nate to write a short blurb about her latest enjoyable reads, but she looked at me like i lost multiple organs. She has read Hoot by Carl Hiaasen (we got it dirt cheap, new, at Borders), its an award-winner, and we broke our rule for buying those things unread, and Natalya liked it--a lot. so we checked out Flush, which she enjoyed almost as much, which is quite a bit. So if you like humor, adventure, naughty children, and environmental activism (or just the environment)--these come highly recommended for boys and girls alike.

**

If you like cooking: or food: here are two blogs i've come across of late that look pretty good:
you'll recognize Nie at CuisineNie: She pitches organic, local, and mainly vegetarian.
and Melani is a sister of my good friend Gail: melscooking: what's for dinner: shops local, organic, and tasty!

from the basement

2009-09-23T12:15:00.000-07:00

posted a short, here.

***

in passing i mentioned the potential need for a ghost writer on facebook. primarily, i need to work on my consistency. however, i was thinking my omphaloskepsis could use 'guest' bloggers. those of whom that would like, or wouldn't mind, writing about what they are reading. it would and could run the gamut as to what the format of the writing would be: a blurb, and snarky plot summary, a more formal essay, a comparative study, a pros/cons list...you get the idea. really, the more i think on it, the more i like it. now to find willing vict--i mean--reader/writers.

it is cold!! and i want to hibernate.

was distracted by nate's school project, but will need to get back to dwelling on 'what kind of costume can we pull together for halloween.' .. there are two ideas: buttercup from the princess bride (the red dress which is not available for sale, so i would have to use up all my sewing superpowers (which is minimal) and make the thing), or warrior princess (something that isn't found in the tween or teen vamp-wear ... i swear that many of the character costumes for that age group look like cheaper quality versions than can be found at fredericks of hollywood, though i'm not sure they would actually be less expensive.) oh, the wonderful subjects available for contemplation... especially since i unplug from many of the political boxes, especially here in la-la land (aka the right-right wing world, aka colorado springs). no need to pray for me, hiding in the basement here, i feel the neighbors have it covered. no, really, it is a bit--er--much, here.

construct-ive

2009-09-16T10:32:00.000-07:00

Ah, the saying "if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all."
I haven't embroidered it onto a pillow, or anywhere else, but I have been making the attempts to not ignore the phrase swimming in my head. and it isn't that i view myself as a complainer, or a complete snot. only that i have been thinking a lot about the occasional conflict between gratitude and resentment...and general annoyance and rage.

The subject of refraining does not come out of nowhere: i have been more or less social all my life, and don't mind being well-liked over despised: just the same, i had been thinking about "not saying something bad" in relation to books, as well.
One of the refreshing aspects of being an older student is you feel comfortable buying only half the things your prof says. and you know by now that you do not have to like any book that has been canonized or that your prof has added to his/her own personal list: and as long as you can argue it, do so. that is not to say one should be cruel and/or careless with their criticism (or their grade).

I just finished Nick Hornby's Shakespeare Wrote for Money and both it and The Polysyllabic Spree address the issue of publishing commentary that may be furthest from the most glowing review. Hornby, early in The Polysyllabic Spree, makes a few negative comments about something or two that he reads and comes back to say that he was asked not to say anything about a book if he couldn't find something to commend it, and he certainly should not reference the books he started and didn't like or connect with and set it aside (even though we all have books we start and decide we don't want to read).
Hornby recognizes the reasons for refraining, but he also notes that it adds a false note to the project at hand: to read and then write about a reader's experience--his own, and meditations on readers in general.

i guess it all boils down to constructive criticism, eh? its giving, and more importantly taking. as i refuse flattery, the use of and its perpetration against me, i'll just take the advice my high school english teacher gave me: grow your vocabulary. and then to add a professor's advice: mind your integrity, and your literary theory (which means i will be moving that book on Deconstruction: Maybe You Will Get It This Time, Leslie toward the top of the books-to-buy list).

shall i take on one more kernel of advice: anyone taught Writing knows this one: mind your audience... which is probably why, when i am on the computer lately, i am writing for myself, or the blog: less of the facebooks, less of the emailing. as for my writing about books, i keep a couple specific people in mind, other than the imaginary clones of me out there, when considering how i recommend it.

i have been thinking of purposefully delving into (or re-visiting) a book or series that i am fairly confident i won't like (or haven't liked): maybe a genre i avoid: like the travel narrative, or vampire lore, or yet-another-coming-of-age-male-protagonist-who-is-twelve-wimpy-and-artistic-of-temperment story. then i can exercise some restraint there, and unleashing a little elsewhere: healthily of course.. constructively.

hornby and c/s

2009-09-14T11:12:00.000-07:00

You may notice the 'Reading' list in the margin... yep, picked up at the library (last week). I am still finishing Le Guin. I took a break.
Sean had picked up two of Nick Hornby's books--both collections of his essays from months as a contributor of the Believer magazine--The Polysyllabic Spree (14mos. '03-'04), and Shakespeare Wrote for Money (late '06-'08). You may have heard of Hornby's High Fidelity, About a Boy, Fever Pitch.
He is one of Sean's favorite authors, so naturally, he reads everything he can find of Hornby. These two are the first I've read of Hornby, though I have the clif notes from sean while watching High Fidelity or About a Boy (both frequent watches at our house).
A rare summary: because you'll find the books more interesting for it: Believer asks Hornby to write a monthly essay/article about reading. He lists what books he's purchased that month, and then lists what he's read, and then he talks about one, the other, or both, or neither.
I am almost through Shakespeare Wrote for Money but The Polysyllabic Spree is funnier. Sean would laugh outright and read me portions. and when i read them later i laughed again. I really think i will purchase a copy just to have around to cheer me up.. or justify some of my own rants as a reader.
some of his rants, or diatribes, or whatever, remind me of some of josh stump's blog postings...funny and containing great exasperation and great vocabulary.
If you must pick one of these up--and if you are a reader at all, you must--read the first: The Polysyllabic Spree.
The other benefit to these books is that you can read a couple at a time, or one and lay it down (though it does hold some continuity to his conversations with the readership).
**
in other news.
Sean is to his second week of consulting work, and they've asked for him to project manage a GSA project, a border crossing (which is good because he is familiar with this kind of project). It is good to be back in the Arch Industry. though the commute still has its issues.. so much for our pride in maintaining a one-car family.

as for the car: nothing is within reasonable walking distance here. and the transportation (somewhat existent elsewhere) sucks. the loaf'n'jug is within walking distance, where there is also a domino's pizza delivery, a coffeehouse with questionable live music, and i think a thai/vietnamese/chinese restaurant (?)...and we could hike to the neighborhood school, just cut across a golf course.

as for driving: i have made it to and from nate's ballet, the cleaners (though there are twenty between here and there we go there), and a store. hopefully soon the library, and negotiating the school's traffic pattern so i can pick up nate and skedaddle over to ballet as quick as possible.

as for Nate: we are going to see about joining the girl scout troop at her school (her, not me), and spanish club starts next monday morning before school (love you sra. claflin), and nate has a wedding weekend after next in abq where she is the flower girl.

as for abq... i have not a lot to say about it.. just hope the commuting becomes a bit easier.

meanwhile... not going to say much about that either.. i will just read, write, and remain semi-transparent..and...

snippet

2009-09-08T18:13:00.000-07:00

ugh... full belly. had penne and marinara and meatballs for dinner...one of those, i am so hungry; eat a bit too much; now i'm regretting it. i should never eat when i am starving.

nate is in the shower: singing (as usual) so i'll sneak in a quick blog.

sean is in abq consulting (as the consultant): day one down.

nate and i spent the day with errands and general laziness. may it continue for another hour or so? and then bedtime. i do not think it is just the lack of caffeine allllllllllllllllllll day, but a restless night as well...then there was a good dream i didn't want to fade into oblivion just yet: i'm doomed when that happens, because then i have a hard time actually sleeping/resting, and then when i do sleep i have some terrible dream.

anywho.. busy week for nate; and for sean; will find some positive busyness for myself. i will have the first quiet day (house to the self): i should write, or i will kick myself for not.

well...actually, i just recalled i forgot to pick something up from the cleaners, so i will do that; and maybe find caffeine. but i will write. it will be glorious. it will be---about something meaningful, timeless, genius.......hmmmm. it will be me--quiet.

oh..the water, and the singing stopped.

a good thursday

2009-09-04T07:50:00.000-07:00

a list of why yesterday was such a good day:
(in no particular order)

sean spoke to a firm who would like him to work with them to move to a full-Revit office: no need to waste time "come down tuesday." they'll put him in a company condo during the week, not minding that we are not going to move there.

we come home from 'open house' at nate's school and sean has an email waiting from a firm in portland (one we even like) and they want to start a conversation with sean. they are looking to hire before the new year.

i wore new pants.

there were chocolate chip cookies with heath bar bits in them.

at 'open house' we were introduced to a community focused school, and its great staff.

we met natalya's spanish teacher, sra. claflin. nate only has her for 'specials,' a short class period every four days. natalya had surprised her maestra by asking a question in spanish (nate just doing what she was trained) and that made both their day. Sra. Claflin is helping us make sure nate keeps her spanish, providing advice and resources: is helping hunt down a tutor!: and spoke to the principle about starting a first ever (at this school of anglos) spanish club: just for Nate! how awesome a teacher is that?!

met natalya's teacher, and she seems nice, and is technological, and said nice things about nate.

nate's desk looks like her room...beyond clutter.

nate's sass has increased with her wit and vocabulary: i know this is odd to say, but i like it; even if she does say in her "my mom is my hero" dedication that i am obnoxious sometimes. and in another place that i try to comfort people, even though sometimes it doesn't work.

natalya wrote that i was her hero on a poster (that looks like a front page newspaper) and she colored the light bulbs around it red, in honor of my favorite color.

on the "my family" portion of the sheet, she wrote: mom, dad, grandma, and grandpa. she really is a multi-generational girl. and she has been known to start listing all known relatives and friends on these things... i like that a lot.

the taco salad dinner was good.

maria johnson schutte and i became friends on facebook: why this took so long, i am not sure, but she thought to send the request first. it makes me happy, and shames me, as she is family you know... a sister-in-law, and a good friend to ever have.

corresponded meaningfully with a long time friend Steve that morning, prompted by a morning newspaper article about more lay-offs at Focus on the Family where he works. his job is still intact.

i wrote.

i took a dead asleep nap.

nate and i had ice cream with dark chocolate syrup after school.

there are a few other things, you probably don't want to know...
and a few i forgot to add.

pretty good day...was good timing for one of those.
as for today, getting things arranged for next week will be busy.
but we hope to get some fun in... it is a holiday.. and nate has 4 days off!

hope your day yields a long list of good happenings.

sampler

2009-09-03T12:44:00.000-07:00

i went on and on about Ursula K. LeGuin over at omphaloskepsis. and i'm sure there will be more as i actually finish The Birthday of the World and Other Stories. this is not juvenile lit...so a reprieve.
i had blurbed there the other day about writing summary along with my commentaries, and now i think i may have to really sketch a summary for each of the short stories, i think some people may not be able to read them due to content.
****

in other news.
the settling in continues: facebook is running continual and heated health coverage debates: nate has an open house at her school tonight: and i am at present getting a caffeine headache and must refill my mug and eat a cookie or two (thank you sean for baking them last night).
****

good news... as people with taste in graphic novels know: Kazu Kibuishi's 2nd installment of Amulet came out yesterday (much anticipated in this household)...just came across news that scholastic has just inked an agreement for three more. Yay!--course, that means there are three more to have to wait on...

minding the idleness.

2009-09-01T12:46:00.001-07:00

shopped the library today, supposedly an Alexie book was on hold for me, but it wasn't there, while sean picked up a couple of holds. the branch (as i think i mentioned) is small, and therefore limited. so home to put in requests..browsing on-line vs browsing shelves: there are differences. i should quit procrastinating on Nietzsche, cause i'm sure i will like him.

meanwhile, nate and i, and sean cruised around Hobby Lobby the other day (i have soooo missed that store) and picked up some craft stuff that would get Nate going.. we made a list, or, rather, nate did which meant it was fairly illegible. we had found the idea to do button bracelets, and i have lots of fun buttons, so we picked up a string and crimps. oh, and in the same mag was stamp art, making collage art from old stamps and you can buy bags of used u.s. stamps, or international; so i picked up some international (we'll see how that goes).

probably should finish nate's fairy-doll first: a smaller rag version to accompany her mermaid doll. waiting for a place to put my machine first (so i can use it instead of borrow). and i thought maybe i should put some design into it, but natalya argues a rough draft is good. she really is an impatient one: which should make her chess lessons all the more entertaining.

then there is a 'project' for sean and i, inspired by soap boxes, fed-upedness, and an excerpt from L'Engle's A Wrinkle in Time. i think it will be great, but i have not ability to carry it off without sean's help (and expertise) soooo... eventually.

so, the downstairs (our apartment-ish) is still waiting to be finished, after that flooding incident. can't set up an office 'nook' in the meantime, which has allowed for a great deal of procrastination despite the mobility of the laptop. finally, last night, we broke down and set up the office table/desk behind the couch. and nicely, we were able to move things and clear the area around the pool table (adjacent to the "living room"). will have to take pictures when most everything finds its place.

so, i guess, there is a bit of life: however fractional. you know, blogs are fairly public (an understatment, i realize) so take what you will from the somewhat shallow refractions. because, well sometimes, you just can't say everything you want to say--something i debate never telling my daughter...yet we are social creatures, aren't we? especially if we do not have that mysterious disposable income, or the wilderness skills to disappear, or the antebellum attic to inhabit.

holmes

2009-08-31T07:07:00.000-07:00

posted a short review, blurb really, at omphalospkepsis regarding the latest Enola Holmes Mystery. tried to copy/paste here and my blogger is rejecting me.

so-so libraries and bester

2009-08-26T13:45:00.001-07:00

mourning the loss of having an awesome city library just across the street. ...one of the first things to find locally is the library, there were two options within 10 and 20 minutes. The 20 minute is newer, the other award-winning. regardless, they have the same inter-library loan system (though the search engine is not as good). alas, their system does not have the incredible catalogue the last one did....yes, i am whining.

alas, i persevered, and requested, and then i picked up two holds today...and a few more (at the 20 minute tiny roomed short-shelved branch). should be set for some reading as i lounge about on the newly carpeted upper floor. not sure which book i will start with. i really should be shopping off my own shelf as i keep reading the same seven-to-nine pages of Anna Karenina, then there is Thus Spake Zarathustra which i kinda thought i would do after Bester's The Stars My Destination---oh-dang-it!--meant to look up Bester's The Demolished Man at the library.. ah well, i'll see if it is in their catalogue and just 'request'.

***

Alfred Bester's The Stars My Destination is one of Sean's favorite books: he is known to intone the story's quaint "nursery jingle:"

Gully Foyle is my name
And Terra is my nation.
Deep space is my dwelling place
And death's my destination.

--and as it wasn't a massive tome (as many of his book interests can be) i was convinced to read it. wonderful read. it is science-fiction, of the best kind.--for critics of sci-fi: it is also just brilliant fiction.
the protagonist Gulliver "Gully" Foyle is horrendous, yet excellently drawn. he is hideous, inside and out, and he's an incredible creation.
at first, some of the intrigue had me floating away, but it really pulls together and the situations the story and the characters find themselves in are interesting; well described; and sometimes (ofttimes) downright disturbing.
the ending had 2001: a space odyssey's music running through my brain, but it was an ideal ending (the last lines, that is): resonate, breathless, simultaneously sating and yet ravenous-for-a-little-more.
*this is where i am a geek: i love that Bester uses ellipses in the middle of his first three sentences, and then sporadically, mid-sentence, throughout the first chapter. i love it when famous authors do things i would get marked down for in a paper at university.
so, i know i tend to blurb about juvenile books, this is not a juvenile lit.--though i suppose teens would read it (i.e. YA). this is for big kids.

The Stars My Destination by Alfred Bester
(includes an intro. by Neil Gaiman)
Vintage Books Edition, July 1996.
Original copyright, 1956.
(258 pages)

***
The Stars My Destination was Sean's answer to my posed question of: what book would you like to be made into a movie? how would you cast and what director was the trickier question. i'm not sure yet what my pick would be...and whether live-action, cg, or animated would be the way to go.

porcupines and wings.

2009-08-24T15:28:00.000-07:00

reviewed Jason Lethcoe's The Mysterious Mr. Spines: Wings over at that other place. it is not nauseatingly glowing so i recommend a jaunt over.

like the other review, i wrote them back in June, shortly after i read them and when i had the time and inclination to write the lengthier review. lengths may change from here depending on my self-discipline; goodness knows that at present i have some time. course, there is always moving on to the next book.

willing to take book recommendations: as in "you should read this," or "could you read this and tell me what you think." I have drawn lines, but very few. i've had almost enough "could yous" about Twilight that i almost waffled the other day.

stick it in your hat...

2009-08-19T17:01:00.000-07:00

posted a review of Jacqueline Woodson's feathers over here.

Alexie & other late summer reading

2009-08-18T20:09:00.001-07:00

I just finished The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian by Sherman Alexie. ---Wow.

This is a great book. I think I read Sean most of the first few chapters earlier today, and continued to be annoying with my chuckling every few minutes. Simultaneously funny and poignant. the self-deprecation of the narrator/main character is perfect---it comes across as neither cute, clever, or overwrought. And the cadence of the words. the author truly is a storyteller: and his short-story writing experience benefits the reader here. he chooses the metaphors--images that are true to the fourteen-year-old-male-narrator that, at times, admittedly suits my juvenile humor.

yeah, it is found in the "YA" section of the library, is a bit too old for the "juvenile" shelves, though is "juvenile" fiction. heard a lot of rave reviews on this one, which automatically makes me suspicious, and not the least bit interested. but this tiny new library i've signed up at (after this move) actually had copies.

on the back are "advanced praises" by various authors. the first quote is by neil gaiman where he says a couple of things and ends with this: "I have no doubt that in a year or so it'll both be winning awards and being banned." so true.

this will be an add-to to my ever growing lists of books to own. (and when natalya is a teen, i hope she'll read it). wouldn't limit my adult readers here: it is not a nauseating coming-of-age (as i've had my limit of this summer). the protagonist is a hormonal 14 yr old male. basketball is played and of interest to the book. there is violence. there is language. some things would shock and warrant protest, i suppose....a character's life can be unflinching that way: Alexie captures this.

like i mentioned: i just finished the book not 20 minutes ago. i am still thinking about it. considering. reeling. energized. the characterization is wonderful. the pace, a quick read, fun, interesting, provoking, humorous. i love the repetitions, and the fragments.

i had finished The WITCH of Blackbird Pond by Elizabeth George Speare on Sunday which is another excellent book: and i will probably laud at length here later. Two really well-written books in a row causes some angst. I think Laurie Halse Anderson's Chains will hold up under the pressure as a following read. I had read Patricia R. Griff's Pictures of Hollis Woods -- a nice read, followed by Rodman Philbrick's Freak the Mighty which i found disappointing (i will probably get flack for saying that, but oh well). More on all of those later.

after taking a hiatus on reading (with the excuse of packing a house and moving) i am back to enjoying the book again. natalya was horrified when i suggested i may need a break from reading...it was as if i had said i was going to starve myself and walk naked everywhere. [don't worry, she was not neglected my-er-passable reading-aloud as we have started Kipling's The Jungle Book, Doyle's The Hound of the Baskervilles, and Grahame's The Wind and the Willows: curious which one we'll get to finishing first]---course there was an interruption of The Sisters Grimm series by Michael Buckley: all six of the available (more on that later, too), oh, and then there was L'Engle's A Wrinkle in Time.

ahem...

2009-08-17T14:01:00.000-07:00

wow, it has been awhile!!

i really have very poor excuses: other than school, and summer school, and a wretched move to colorado springs colorado.

i have been working toward a new blog over at wordpress... something to follow me into this newer phase of 'professional' interests [i am almost done with that blasted English Literature undergrad]. yes, i used the word 'professional' and it does seem awkward; nonetheless, my advanced expository writing prof suggested an outlet to help maintain discipline in writing. of course, you know, that that is what this site was intended for: getting myself to write. many blogs discourage: the random and sundry. i will, however, not abandoned my randomness. i will stay here, and post there, as well.

There is temporarily named Omphaloskepsis.. but the address is the best---contemplatrix. You'll follow the link (i hope) and find lines of carefully crafted and eloquently stated site-intentions. Then i will most likely post the same post in both places: because i am lame: and also an idea is swimming to tap people of interests similar to those expressed there to alleviate my laziness in posting regularly by posting something there as well. i will remain random and _______ here and more focused and possibly more boring or interesting there.

yes, yes, more grand declarations. they do sound familiar, content-wise anyhow. and i do acknowledge that i will hopefully (desperately) soon return to University (once i find one here) and become busy once again; and then there is working; trying to finish a project or two; parent; wife; and then grad school. i will outline some excuses now and then cut-and-paste them at a later date too. what a charming blog this is....

...ahem.

reminded

2009-04-10T18:26:00.000-07:00

i was reminded to share with you, in case you didn't know, that Stephanie Nielson (Nie Nie) is back to blogging again (has been for a little while now)... this is a particularly good post and i wanted to share it.

if you want to start at her return to posting on her blog go to January 16.

two weeks in...

2009-04-09T20:44:00.000-07:00

two weeks into school and... i am still not sure how this term will shape up. sounds familiar, i know. will be spending the weekend writing, a little reading...yes, the usual. any new news? not really, nothing that doesn't already feel recycled a hundred times in my mind.

i've a couple of books i've snuck in i could comment on...perhaps another time.

maybe i should post some of my papers...i'm sure you would love to read my "personal correspondence" for advanced expository writing. i'm just really glad she didn't make us read them aloud in class (though a few did read theirs and it was great--talented, and --er--heart warming)... we didn't even have to turn them in either, we just had to write it and she gave us credit.. i turned mine in anyway. it wasn't personal, or even autobiographical, though that is not say it wasn't inspired.

my personal essay was okay...a little fictional, but a lot true. as the prof is not concerned with grammar for this class, i think i will have to look over it in a couple days to proof it and possibly then i could post it... the lack of concern over comma and semi-colon is freeing.

there is a lot of in-class writing this term: all three classes and to varying extents. should be good for me.

***oh, mom...went to the "women's retreat"...(just racking up pride points).
going was a bit of a dangerous proposition but i felt sure that after the first week of classes i wouldn't have too much of a weekend homework load, nothing i couldn't get done the friday-day before or a short while during free time saturday.
the personal essay was due monday 8 am... no sweat, as i usually contemplate, sketch it out in my head, make notes. was nice that others had homework or reading they wanted to accomplish during 'free-time'. a restless night, and the lovely sun, my mind wandered but i made notations. really, i tried to be good.
sunday i sit down to type it all out, deciphering my horrible handwriting. I change directions and write a whole other paper... i'm still recovering from the lack of sleep... the things i do to myself. that will probably be the name of my collection of letters: when i start actually writing them, which means i will have to work on my handwriting. i would like to say i used to have such lovely handwriting, but that isn't all that true.

tanya led an activity to imitate a poem called 'where i am from'...she had done one (which turned out really, really good) and found it to be a good experience. some of the ladies' shared the ones they worked on over the day, and it was fun, and insightful. sharie's was really good..made me hungry, and homesick, and more in-love with my husband and daughter.
i scribbled out a couple of stanzas that i am sure would fall under 'interpretation' rather than 'immitation'. i know there is little difference in those terms, but enough for me to growl over my contrariness and my habit of late to write more toward the abstract rather than concrete.
maybe i'll share those tomorrow. i was thinking it would be fun to collect all of the poems from over the weekend, not do any heavy editing (just the spelling mostly) and bind them and redistribute them.

i don't know...

i've ideas of late, which is an improvement..

certainly a step out a depressive state...

but now for the energy.

it was good to see the sun... it was a good reminder.

frivolity...

2009-03-27T09:35:00.000-07:00

Frivolity: I just wanted to use that word in a title.

Wednesday + Thursday this week deserves a lengthy list not unlike the two previous days. It has been a really good week thus far. Today promises to go well also.
Let's see: there was a matinee Race to Witch Mountain (Wed.), then we watched Winky's Horse (Thurs.)--a children's film from the Netherlands voice-dubbed in English about a Chinese girl, Winky.
Family group was a summer beach picnic Hawaiian theme (thank you Davis') and Thurs. we had Thai food to celebrate the strange phenoma of me actually getting all A's last term (it was a horrible struggling term).
Gabby was over Thurs. to play dolls and run around the neighborhood with (note to self: she doesn't like steamers).
And Natalya has been reading and drawing and playing like mad (both days). Natalya asked that I list a few of her sketches: "butterfly" which is intricate, "sea serpent" detailed, a "Joey", and a "glass slipper"----all of which were modeled in a 'how to draw' book. She also drew a lovely sunflower (at an angle).

I was accused--on Goodreads (a site Mel invited me to)--that, well let me quote it for you: "Leslie has too much time on her hands!" I think she was referring to the fact that I had catalogued several (or more) books both read and to-read...or maybe I read ridiculous books no one would ever think to read? Could be all the above. But I thanked her just the same: "this week i do, thankfully...but i also read quickly." I am feeling pretty satisfied with the state of this week. It has been helpful planning in a couple of play dates for Natalya, I get to find myself doing minimal entertaining and at loose ends to which I might indulge some of my addictive behaviors, or just indulge in the nonsense. Though I haven't written much (other than these blogs): I haven't had that much un-interupted time.

As for the "read quickly", I picked up a book yesterday, read quickly, was mostly social, and stayed up a little later than I intended to finish it.

*** just an alert that there will be a book rec ahead**

I was alarmed in searching my blog that I hadn't mentioned the first book to which the second book that I read belonged. I hadn't told you about R.L. LaFever's Theodosia books. Well, I suppose she isn't for everybody, but when has that stopped me.

The first book is called Theodosia and the Serpents of Chaos, and the second is Theodosia and the Staff of Osiris. As you know by now, I like stories with good female protagonists (if the protagonist is female, and good as I define it from my somewhat feminist viewpoint). Theodosia is wonderful. She is extremely intelligent, resourceful, and determined. She is also a little girl who wants her parents attention, love, and affection. LaFevers does well to create a uniquely interesting 10-11 year-old-girl; of course the setting helps.

The books are late 1800s, early 1900s London, England. Theodosia's father is head curator (runs) the Museum of Legends and Antiquities, and her mother is an American Archaelogist whose primary interests are Egyptology. The books are steeped in Egyptian legend and lore. Theodosia not only knows a great deal on the subject, but she has special abilities: most particularly her sensitivity to the presence of dark magic (evil spirits, curses, etc) that surround the objects entering the museum.

Trouble follows Theodosia, and complications arise; such is adventure. The protagonist makes for a great narrator and is the source of the humor in the book. I like her dry wit, which finds its premise in the fact that she is just a child, and that this is set in a prim and proper society.

I mention Theodosia, but there are plenty of other well-rounded characters as well. (I like the street urchin Will, Theodosia's cat Isis, and Grandmother Throckmorton in particular.) All are well-imagined and designed to create drama and adventure.

The book is sold as independent-reader, 8-12. Despite the fact that I am 30 and found it amusing (alright, I love them), I am guessing the earlier end of that age range would appreciate it best. 3rd and 4th grade? if your young reader is already reading a little ahead. But I should bring up the fact that peril is very present in these books. Theodosia develops some serious enemies by the end of the first book, who will reappear as terrifying figures in the second. Also, Egyptian mythology and history is not rosy--there are mummies and jackals and snakes, etc.

I like the books (I am assuming there will be more): I like the time period, the subject matter, the humor, and its well-paced, well-crafted adventure. I agree with the School Library Journal when they say that Theodosia is "A combination of Nancy Drew and Indiana Jones." They sum it up well.

+ 2 books

2009-03-24T17:55:00.000-07:00

i am getting to adult fiction, i promise...as soon as finish the series of comic anthologies called Flight, edited by Kaku Kibuishi. there are 5 volumes (thus far).

two books i've yet to recommend on this blog.

How to Steal a Dog by Barbara O'Connor. Nate picked this up at the book fair at school. it is 170 pages and recommended to ages: 8-12. the version nate has is a 'literature circle edition' which means it comes with book discussion questions in the back; some of which are not too bad.

If the idea the title incites a discomfort, wait until you get to reading it. Georgina (the main character) is in a difficult situation. She, her mother, and younger brother, come to live in a car (a clunker) after being evicted and having all their money taken by their father who has run out on them. it is very much a story that deals with desperation beautifully. Georgina is in a hard situationand struggles to make good choices. O'Connor carefully erects walls in which Georgina is forced to work around (or ram herself into head-on) walls i found frustrating but necessary to complicate the already difficult situation.

this story is not an easy one (though easily read) and i think that is a good thing. O'Connor creates convincing characters in a well-described setting, though I initially balked at its placement in the Carolinas, accents/idioms included (it felt cliche). Putting down the book mid-read is difficult because there are tense situations you want to see through. and, alas, it all turns out in the end, though the ending itself is not easy---it is real enough without robbing the child reader of catharsis. I was still haunted, and so was natalya. her eyes have been opened to situations of homelessness and the need for compassion and community; and she has expressed a desire to help. on that recomendation alone, consider the topic (can read the synopsis at a bookseller) and have your 8+ take a look. all in all, i think O'Connor weaves a good story, creating a tight conflict and leading the characters through it successfully, if not at times surprising us all.

Savvy by Ingrid Law is a lot of fun!! though not terribly easy either. things happen, decisions are made (perhaps rather hastily, certainly emotionally), and adventure ensues. Law has a fabulous imagination, and it slips so easily into the reality of the book, and thus, our reality.

Mibs, born Mississippi, is turning 13 and on her birthday will recieve her savvy, the gift of a special ability. this is a familial inheritence though the story comes to encourage that everyone should find their gifts, their uniqueness--and know that it can work for you or against you if you haven't developed an understanding of its use and purpose. the lessons are fairly sublte, in the way a good story can relay them.

the characters are well-crafted, and consistently complex. we have a central character (our narrator, Mibs), but she is not the only character to grow or develop. Law handles the cast of interesting characters effortlessly.

I really, really recommend this read. if you like a bit of the magical in your read, i suggest this one. it is a bit coming of age, Mibs is 13, but innocence is still intact, willed there by a girl on the brink of young-womanhood. she comes to a decision to be comfortable with being young, i like this aspect to the story.

i think it is rated for 9-12, which is fair. i think it is fun for boy or girl, though i think a girl may be more comfortable with the first person narration. the ideas are fun...and some of the boys have awesome powers, er, savvy!

monday-tuesday: check

2009-03-24T17:38:00.000-07:00

since yesterday:
*we've been on walks (some in the rain)
*we've gone to garden at her school (a few well-spent hours)
*we are having a friend for a sleep-over in the middle of the week (i hear them whispering and conspiring now)
*we are having a friend over for dinner and games (will be arriving momentarily)
*we've watched a new movie (it was a sequel to something we'd never seen--oops)
*played on the wii (with a new game checked out from the library)
*did some mad-libs (her adjectives and nouns choices are getting better and better)
*slept in every morning (at least she is, bless her, bless her)
*we're diving headlong into Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince (sean and nate, that is)
*played barbies and kelly dolls for hours
*whispered over ideas for a secret society (girls only and under which Nate has chosen a brilliant alias)
*developed a few secret codes
*had mcdonalds (a rarity)
*had an animated discussion (at McDs) about Wall-E, and depicting inner conflict using the book vs film versions of Harry Potter and Bridge to Terabithia (yes, we are geeks)
*extensive conversations regarding anna's and natalya's plans for a Nature Club (including phone calls between anna and nate--which were fun)
*argued over my having a headache and her whining over being bored with our craft options (she was being impractical and i was needing caffeine).

i think i hit most of the highlights....looking forward to the up-coming rest of break.

the opposite of breaking

2009-03-20T12:14:00.000-07:00

I am proud to announce that Natalya is now officially hooked on the graphic novel.

for the past year she has been inhaling any copy of Calvin & Hobbes she can find. and she did glance through some of the comics i've thrown her way, but she never paid close attention. that has all changed this last week.

the library across the street has been rapidly expanding the children's comic/graphic novel section.

We picked up a series of 'graphic novels' based on classic fairytales: cinderella, rapunzel, hansel&gretel, beauty& the beast. okay for beginners, but really relies on personal aesthetic and not caring that the narrative (textually) comes across stilted in a few of the books.

natalya has been plowing through the nancy drew graphic novels.. picked up, i think it's called 'reluctant heroes' and liked it..that one is drawn in the tradition of superhero comics. her favorite, however, is Amulet: The Stonekeeper by Kibuishi. and i have to say it is beautifully drawn, and tells a great story. Unfortunately, it is the first volume in a series (i think a trilogy). it was sad to tell my tormented daughter that the next book doesn't come out until september. what was fun was talking to her about the medium of graphically rendered story and developing a vocabulary with which to talk about it. i think the graphic novel/comic arena is a great way to introduce/integrate critical approaches to literature, art, and film.

it has felt good to apply my "craft" lately, even as my writer's block is settling in. natalya and i have had long discussions about the processes of creating a story, about stories we've both read, and the adaptiations and structural considerations of bringing literature to film, or the comic medium.

i was telling her a made-up-on-the-spot story the other morning, to cheer her out of a funk and though unfinished we have been trying to draw it out. really the story doesn't adapt well to comic; the narrative style is all wrong...Natalya doesn't care, so we are rescripting the general story arch.

we are also "designing" seasonal fashions, clothes, shoes, and accessories, drawing them and compiling them into a portfolio, or 'look book'. i like fashion, though you wouldn't know it judging by my wardrobe. and i have a limited vocabulary, but i know what i like when i see it, and i am terribly opinionated... but am doing my best sharing what i do know, and tossing out repetitive suggestions that we check out a few books, peruse a few websites, and talk to friends, most specifically Tanya.

I am glad, for many reasons, both obvious and not, to have Natalya with me this year for Spring Break: we've plenty with which to fill our time together. and after a hectic winter term, we are both ready for some good quality time.

ending a term....

2009-03-16T13:40:00.000-07:00

there have been many questions posed this winter term, few have been answered, and even fewer were required to be explored in an essay.

the last question to respond to in essay for Bible as Literature? it is a question borrowed from a documentary in which Biblical scholar Elaine Pagel asks "Why did Christianity flourish when so many other literary explanatory models did not endure?"

less than 6 pages, double-spaced, using textual evidence from the Hebrew Bible and/or New Testament.

thinking of taking it from the angle of community, equality, and a departure from rule-following. and/or looking at it as an economic and socio-political model people could embrace. there is also the powerful idea that a god would die for his people, and in doing so completely recover any sense of loss; not to mention the inherent provision of hope.

-----

2009-03-13T11:07:00.000-07:00

of all the times i lack the eloquence of expression, these are the times that haunt and hollow me the most.

i am just going to Josh Stump's blog post titled "My Dad" from Thursday March 12th:

"Today at 11:10am, my father's body passed away. He lived his life with God and is closer to Him now than ever.

Thank you all for your prayers, they have been answered with blessings during a most difficult time. My Dad was at home with my Mom and me and my sister and went in peace.

May God be with us all."

two good distractions

2009-03-09T07:58:00.000-07:00

amidst the continuous drama that is life these days, i managed to sneak in two new books (quick reads) that i would recommend. no, they are not susan hayward's cinema studies: the key concepts (though good, is not a quick read), nor robert louis stevenson's dr. jekyll and mr. hyde which is a fairly quick read, but it is disturbing (horrifying) and requires adjustment to the writing style.

the two recommendations are--er--yes, more juvenile fiction...the only thing i can fit in quickly outside of blog posts and magazine/news articles... which i should probably round up some to post about.

back to books.

please read Belle Teal by Ann M. Martin and The Half-Moon Investigations by Eoin Colfer.

Belle Teal as you'll note in the link's synopsis is the story of a 10-year-old girl--who lives with her mother and grandmother in a noticeable level of poverty; and though Belle Teal (the girl) is conscious of her poverty, it is not a focal point, but merely a fact; which you come to appreciate in the story. Belle Teal's grandmother is getting old and senile; her mother works crazy hours and frequently shifts jobs; the local school is becoming desegregated; a friend at school has an abusive father; add in the conflict of a snobby new girl who is unsuccessful at bullying Belle Teal and has issues of her own.
there are sobering moments within the story, but none of which can be found steeped in self-pity. this is a story about family, and community, and how life achieves normalcy within the act of big changes.
the possible realness of the situations raise questions but do not belabor the story's progression. Obviously there is tension and discomfort over some of the topics; and one story line feels unresolved as the book holds to the untidiness that is life.
this story made me think of Bridge to Terabithia, and Because of Winn Dixie. it has charm, and a really likeable main character; well, you like most of the characters. i do not recall language other than the N-word and that has a place in the story's setting (year) and its address of racism.
the story sets the provocative challenge to face difficulty with a delicate balance of will and compassion. compassion is a strong thematic element that i find exceedingly well-handled.
i would not place this story along gender lines, nor would i place it younger than 9, or a mature 8, mainly because it is a 'middle-school' read. like Esperanza Rising, or any of the afforementioned reads, i think it would be great to read together, or at least having both read it.

Half-Moon Investigations is a lot of fun; and i am getting the feeling that that is because the author Eoin Colfer tells all his stories with such incredible wit. i haven't made it through his artemis fowl series yet but i started the first and i recognized some similarities with Half-Moon--namely the humor and the uniqueness of the story's angle.
Half-Moon is about a boy who gets a detective badge (top of his on-line class of grown-ups) and is presented with his first really big case. the narrative follows the traditional genre narrative form of a hardboiled detective story. just read the first page and you'll know what i am talking about--it is funny and just, well, awesome.
it may be that i watched brick fairly recently but i pictured gordon-levitt playing the part of our hero, regardless, the 12 year-old hero is a good one to follow. like any good detective story, you must know and learn that appearances are deceiving, and that casting types are a mistake (even as the story uses these as its own device); one of the acts of the genre is to overturn an expectation and in this case will not turn back to right it. there is tension, of course, and there is one real act violence--though not too explicit and not unnecessary to the story; but i feel i should cover my bases and put that warning out there.
it is set in ireland, which is fun (that is where the author is from), and the principal at the school reminded me of raold dahl's matilda but not as evil. i like that fletcher moon (the hero) has a good family. there is a lot of that element in the book, the interaction/relationship between parents and child (and that influence).
humor keeps the story from being too dark, and the author holds the content in the realm of children. it is a wonderful read. no gender lines here, and i would put the minimum at 8 or maybe 7; it really is a grade schooler (if not middle-schooler) read as far as having developed social expectations and the awareness of how they categorize people based on sex and age and grade level.
A great story and a perfect genre to present ideas of revisiting and over-turning expectations while having a really good adventure. you can also add: that we can find friends in the most unusual ways. no one's worth should be counted or discounted based on appearances--even our own.

now that i've used this as a warming up exercise, i've a big paper due on wednesday that needs work...ugh.

aesop

2009-02-27T12:16:00.000-08:00

nate was, as usual, her charming self this morning.

she has this thing about not wanting to be rushed in the morning. strange, i know. she wants to be woken up early enough to have a little play or reading time before having to go to school. this morning we wake her and she is in this sociable mood. her Aesop's Fables book in hand (a favorite book of hers) she crawls into our bed with her book lamp and sets to reading, first to herself and then aloud. The following was voted the favorite of the few she read aloud to us:

The Wolf and the Lamb

While lapping water at the head of a running brook, a wolf noticed a stray lamb some distance down the stream. Once he made up his mind to attack her, he began thinking of a plausible excuse for making her his prey.
"Scoundrel!" he cried, running up to her. "How dare you muddle the water that I am drinking!"
"Please forgive me," replied the lamb meekly, "but I don't see how I could have done anything to the water since it runs from you to me, not from me to you."
"Be that as it may," the wolf retorted, "but you know it was only a year ago that you called me many bad names behind my back."
"Oh, sir," said the lamb, "I wasn't even born a year ago."
"Well," the wolf asserted, "if i wasn't you, it was your mother, and that's all the same to me. Anyway, it's no use trying to argue me out of supper."
And without another word, he fell upon the poor helpless lamb and tore her to pieces.

the moral: A tyrant will always find a pretext for his tyranny. so it is useless for the innocent to seek justice through reasoning when the oppressor intends to be unjust.

shelf space

2009-02-25T12:41:00.000-08:00

am up in the office staring at the bookshelves (or i was until i started this post). i have been thinking about what books i need to be accessible.

we had talked about this in my class on borges/calvino last term. borges had some select books he liked to have on hand. the course of the discussion ran around the room with people listing their must-have books. except for the editorial types, i had to wonder at some of the 'name-dropping' occuring and was curious if people were trying to sound impressive or if some really were that boring/cliche?! or maybe i am boring and ignorant--which is entirely possible.

regardless.

i am considering my meager collection (and the more expansive collection contributed by sean)....

can i limit myself to listing 5? yeah, i was laughing too.

i will list 10: and by saying the collection of William Carlos Williams, though 2 volumes, will count as one, right?!

in no particular order:

i need my collected works of Emily Dickinson, William Carlos Williams, e.e. cummings, and Edgar Allen Poe, also T.S. Eliot 'Wasteland and Other Poems'.

i also want my Italo Calvino (though which of the 3 i don't know), and Jorge Luis Borges' Non-fictions.

Susan Hayward's Cinema Studies: Key Elements, and Strunk & White's Elements of Style, also Culler's A very short intro to: Literary Criticism.---------------------------

that was ten, and it is a really lame list, because i've a--er--few more.

course, if we were to play the "move to a flat in paris and can only have one small box of books" game i would be in real trouble...

and yet, there is the more probable game of "moving to a smaller place and having only one book shelf to share" game, which would be only slightly less difficult (but not as painful).

let us go with the fun thought of living in a tiny but stylish flat in paris and having only the possibility of the small box. name five books you have to have.

B as L

2009-02-03T21:28:00.000-08:00

I am taking Bible as Literature this term, and in this class we have been watching some dvds of Elie Wiesel talking about some of the stories in Genesis and Exodus. The one on The Binding was really interesting. I have been spending the past week thinking about the one we watched on Adam and Eve. More specifically on when Elie Wiesel said he thought that the worst thing we can do is to humiliate another. if you were one to rank sins against people, can you do much worse?

30th of January

2009-01-30T16:12:00.000-08:00

i am making effort to move and change the tone of the normal fare.
as copy/pasted from today's word document:
********

an attempt at sunshine and flowers.

The fog presses inward.

I can feel the damp on my face,

the cool wet on my tongue,

the full breath in my lungs.

And I remain unaffected,

the memory of the sun is

a warm caress on my arm,

limeade in my belly,

a song humming through chords

slender and carefree.

My lungs compress but my heart is weightless.

Nothing is aflutter, nor does the mind sleep.

The smile accompanies the tears.

I do not hear a pulse, but the soft rustling of grass.

The breeze is cool as it rolls across bare limbs unfurled

lengthened to embrace a heavy sky.

lashes lie gently, fingers unclenched.

A reddened nose smells soothing floral scents.

Bruises burn as they surface,

and pop as they burst into bubbles,

carried along and away with the wind.

The film reel flickers with scenes of unclouded climes.

Piano music rattles along in cheerfully abandoned rhymes.

I am sleepy, says the hare, but the tortoise never tires.

Hazel eyes readily open, unfocused.

Focused, they close and she shivers.

Recall again the sun and the limeade and the lullabyes.

The skin turns to petals, though chapped by the wind.

It is never so cold here,

or quiet.

revisiting

2009-01-29T19:50:00.001-08:00

alas, i have been neglecting any blog time i may have in favor of facebook (on which i have not written anything all that interesting either). but good news! i printed out my creature story and edited what i have and am going to start dreaming its continuation.
whereas Jenavie is about exploring life and dreaming, reality and unreality, Kier (or Creature) is along the vein of the consequences of life and suffering and wisdom and death. a character is dying but wants desperately to live; Kier is in conflict, he has life-immortal but wavers between living and death quite often; another character is taking life as a means of vengeance and control... this all occurs on different planes, one affecting another..blah, blah, blah. i was thinking a third story (the murderer's tale and subsequent apology) but we'll have to see. i think there is a very gripping story there, and i've a voice started for it, but i really need to at least form a good skeleton for Creature first.

so my friend aaron sent out a writing assignment for our bulletin to which i cannot in good conscience contribute without writing something for my sister's blog---sorry heather!...the other trick is to write something in a way that doesn't come as naturally to me--not his challenge, but mine, as his only perameters are keeping with the theme and a word count.. rice cookers keep coming to mind, so it will probably be silliness...just need to get a microtheme for one film class done really quick, and not think about the dark matters of Creature for a day...

account-ability

2009-01-26T11:48:00.000-08:00

Marie (a friend of mine at school) has recently joined a writing group, which is great for a couple of obvious reasons: Marie is an excellent writer; she is surrounded by like-minded people; and it adds a heightened level of awareness to her abilities and the need to focus on her craft.

I am really hopeful for her and find it convicting. I should carve out more time, or time at all. Some of the carving needs to take place in the brain, to move everything else aside and focus.

During the course of our conversation over coffee/cocoa she pulls out her notebook, laughing about writers and their notebooks. I have neglected my notebook (which of late gets crammed with lists of things to do or the grocery list). Mostly, I get frustrated about doing nothing with my notebook; inspiration is quickly exhausted as of late: the follow-through has a tinge of boredom. I should probably be taking my vitamins more faithfully. I am so terrible at the self-discipline thing. And I am prone to over-editing myself--a terrifying thought, isn't it.

Time to ease back over into another way of breathing: take my vitamins (which sean will be glad to hear), sleep less, write more, write something short every day--unedited, and read something or dwell on a piece of art of my choosing.

May as well fully embrace being completely up in the air.

ghosts and goblins

2009-01-21T11:34:00.000-08:00

in other, and more recent news:

i feel the need to post something upbeat. unfortunately i have been feeling more inarticulate than usual of late.

thinking about bringing in a ghost writer.

crdj #5

2009-01-16T17:06:00.000-08:00

It is a Friday (which I will set aside, as I've been known to, for papers, projects, and the purple journal that is presently and sadly gathering dust).

I had mentioned (possibly threatened) to post one of my papers from school. I decided to post my 5th Course Related Dialog Journal (CRDJ) which I wrote for personal reasons and then decided to submit as I felt it relevant to my studies through the Tony Wolk's class (he is a great teacher). This was my Borges/Calvino Lit class.

At the time: we were reading If on a winter's night a traveler by Italo Calvino (highly recommend, esp. to writers and serious readers): we were also talking about multiple-persons, and time-travel (as applied mainly to Jorge Luis Borges' stories--whom I also recommend). The you in the last paragraph is my professor, Tony Wolk.

---a respectful warning (not an apology): there will be some foul language.

Leslie Darnell

ENG 448---Wolk

18 Nov 2008

CRDJ # 5

I was collecting my thoughts for this class only to find them scattered. The phone rang ten minutes ago.

I don't know why being several places in the space of moments is often considered fictional, or even fantasy. This would seem to place a limitation on time and space that I have always failed to recognize.

I could tell you about the past hour of my life, and I could put me in several places, and indeed several persons. I did put me in those places and persons, if I could put me anywhere other than where I am.

The woman who checks her phone to see if anyone called while in class. The husband called, he must have not looked at the time, having called ten minutes before I was due to be out of class. Apparently I was not in class ten minutes earlier. I call him with the sounds of traffic and construction and portent crowding my ears. I should have listened to his voice mail message first.

Now I am walking down the hill, down the crowded walk, trying to hear, and knowing what I am hearing even as I can barely make out what he is saying. He is saying something about “I need to come to his work...to...we'll go home together. He needs me to help him...”

I am on my way, down the walk, down the hill, crowd thinning. I'll walk to the train, maybe the whole way. I am hurrying, going somewhere I don't know, but I know to--quickly...

I apologize to the young woman who wants to discuss gay rights. I have to go; sorry I don't have 60 seconds. Then I found that I did, but I was not nearby her anymore. I am hurrying up the block to cross to Pioneer Square to catch a train. I waited a little more than those 60 seconds for the train. Only a little. I didn't know. I only knew that I was going to see Sean at his work. And I felt I knew why.

I was in Bozeman, receiving a call. The same soft voice threaded along the line to sink in my belly. Sadness with anger in a calm request. I have heard illness in my ear. I have heard mourning in my ear. And I have heard this calm request...“I can't talk about it on the phone.”

The train is emptier than my thoughts. There is enough room for me as me and me and me and me and I crowd into the corner, looking out of the window.

This is the first time any of me has never registered a smell to the train.

I'll rely on some other awareness to remind me of the stop I want. As it is, nothing looks familiar, and yet annoyingly so normal.

I am leaning, registering nothing.

I am leaning, registering everything...the one bicycle, he goes to sit, comes back to stand almost immediately. The man reaching, stretching across the aisle to pick up a paper off the seat. A younger man than the other two gets on, and then off the next stop, why didn't he walk? The fence around Mercy Corp.: looking at children's sad faces through a chain link fence.

I am leaning, wondering why again. Again and again, why? Not woe, but close.

I am leaning, "woe," and see: my reflection is calm, terribly calm.

I am leaning, seeing the anger on my face in the pane and I my eyes burn black, my jaw set, my teeth bared. One moment my teeth are clenched, the next I am screaming. I have no restraint in my rage. I am yelling at everyone and no one. The man by the bicycle is trapped; the man with the paper huddles next to the window. They daren't look at me, and yet they cannot look away. I might hit them. Certainly throw something.

I am leaning, with tears burning my cheeks. My scarf is soon soaked. And my lips are pressed closed, relieving none of the trembles pulsing through my chin. I am weeping and most assuredly no can look at me. I cannot look at me, fallen down, curled up inside myself, on the filthy floor, punctuating any escaped sob with a tightening of arms around knees.

There are words. There are always words, whether mine or yours. All of them are hideous and regretted, especially when so thoughtfully predetermined.

I think I know what the call is. I think I have misread his voice. Surely there was a time that I had. Not really, one of the strange things about Sean on the phone, I hear him most clearly then. The number of any other reasons he phoned and needed me to come by almost directly correlate with all the reactions I experienced.

Rob, father of five children, was in fact laid off after everything else; wasn't Sean going to email him to make sure he was okay, after hearing about Scott losing his job? This would make Sean very upset, and angry...needing to vent. It was the lunch hour.

Sean's mother is in the hospital, or even worse. I can't even say it. But why would he be angry; except why wouldn't he be angry? He must feel completely lost.

He and one of the others on the project he was working on got into an argument. Not a blow out because Sean doesn't yell or throw fits, but he gets frustrated; time is lost; nothing has been achieved; we can see a big waste of time and money. He needs to vent. I'll call them the assholes so he doesn't have to and we can move forward.

My stop comes, I see, and hear the announcement. It is so quiet on the train and I almost missed it.

I am walking up the blocks, the lights are with me. Everything else moves against me. I am walking quickly. The air makes it in and out of my lungs and I've no notice, except I am not tired—physically.

I am tired. I am so weary. I am thinking of the work I have to have energy for. I have a little girl I have to have stability for. I have a husband I need to have everything for...everything steady in the face of whatever news he has for me.

I am tired.

I am angry. Again. Again. Again.

The unfairness, which has become typical, a cliché that even Hallmark has failed to make cards for. Why not someone else, just as deserving? I could enumerate them. I do enumerate them. There is no logic, or reason, or rationality, or any other words that may mean or decide the same fate because it is all shit.

It is the waste they flush, held their breath against, and looked away from. Well, there is blood, asshole. There is blood and your guts are falling away from you.

The indecision, the poor choices we bear. Some never bear; only those who didn't even hear the button pushed splinter.

I call to let him know I am nearing his work. Maybe he wants to meet me outside, get coffee. I only tell him I am nearly there. He tells me to come in, to his desk. Of course. He sounds better, clearer, normal. He's wrapping up something before coffee. He said he'll be standing up at his desk, look for him. Why is he standing? He's finishing up a detail. He's letting one of the others know about a change somebody else wanted which would reverse everything they've done for two days--billable hours--costing everyone.

He's okay.

But I don't smile at the receptionists just in case.

I see the box on the desk. Sean's back is to me and then not, loading the box. The photo frames are stacked neatly. Office paraphernalia lined neatly to one side, papers and books to the other. Efficient packing, the box. Sean is good with space, getting it to all fit, look nice, quality, efficient, efficient.

He is calm. The only one calm. The twittering--the twittering that has nothing to do with us, only work. Good little worker bees in an otherwise silent office. Suddenly I can hear them working so industriously—assholes. Their only time; the only time I have seen that man at his desk.

I am tearing my messenger bag off and throwing it to the ground. I am yelling, "This is bullshit!" Loudly. Read this loudly, until you are hoarse, and everyone stares, and no one can ignore you.

I refrain from spitting on the supplies so neatly arranged for returning. I don't need them slippery when launching them about the room--over the endless desks--empty--

I hit a few people crouched over their work. I save the heavy things for next, because my rage is not blind. I am fully aware of my targets. And Sean shakes his head and continues to pack his things, quietly, efficiently, already making plans.

We've done this before.

I see the box on the desk as I come down the aisle where Sean's desk is. I am composed, a tired smile straining my face, eyes carefully emptying down my throat. And I am useless at packing the box. I put the picture frames in my bag, and two mini-speakers. I am calm, conversational, restrained, not looking around the room but hearing everything...everything no one is saying that would pertain to the man and his wife packing up this desk. And I, as silently, tell them we have a daughter, and debt, and no family (here), and friends that are so generous that it is humiliating to think about how good they will be to us when they find out.

Sean orders a zip car, he doesn't want to make multiple trips on the train, down this aisle, past his no-longer-co-workers (those spared this time, like we were spared at least twice before in recent months).

Sean has already sent out emails to friends at other firms. Knows he'll go to the unemployment office in the morning; will call the creditors; will call the friends who have independent projects for drafting work—if they have any.

I see the box and I am listless. Emptied. Smiling. Absent. His words are as indistinguishable as they had been on the phone.

I am in Bozeman, the chic little design office. Nothing so ordinary and re-usable as here. I see their faces through the backs of their heads. And fury radiates from my silent form.

I create really good curses; though I fear they will become as commonplace as the coarse words I mutter without breath.

I have no breath, and I will have no breath. I am still hurrying down the hill, across the block, up the street. I am suddenly at the desk, and I am holding a key to the car. My bag is heavier. The drawings we'll leave with bend over my arm.

We are here, in this moment. All of us, swallowing deep, swallowed deep. The calm, weary face of my beloved is before me. His hands on each side of my face, not as warm as usual, but steadier than they should be. His kiss is soft and reassuring and normal and heavy and I am collected.

I am collected. And I have digressed. And what would Lotaria find if she were to break down the words by their use. Is this a paper on Calvino? Is this a story about absolute loss, or will there be found hopeful words in singular forms littered throughout? Would she know how tired I am after this conscious-less write? Calvino would. But how much would he allow the voice to be his? Or is there no question that the voice must always be, and simultaneously always not? I will re-read this with new tears in my eyes, but not the same tears I expended. Or maybe I will not cry, and only understand that I had tears in my eyes when I wrote it. But will I recognize any of this. Will I know any of this tomorrow? I hadn’t known it ten minutes before.

I apologize for any lack in coherence, but “the story” is not fiction. It really happened.

And this was incredibly therapeutic. I realized in class, when you were talking about chapter 8 being in the first person, that I do not write any of my work in the first person, too much tends to leak through, or I am convinced by what I am reading (of what I wrote) that the author must have something in common with the “I”. Again, I am in a strange mood, a strange moment.

winter stack

2009-01-12T11:38:00.000-08:00

i had mentioned a stack of books that i might read over the winter break. i didn't think it too ambitious a list (i had even added a few more)...alas, i didn't get much reading in over the vacation. that was partly due to the number of days on the road, and partly attributed to the fact we were not at home being complete slugs. but i did get some reading done. and i even listened to books on disc...which i rarely do (okay, never).

i'll start with the books on disc. we, the family, thought it would be a brilliant idea to listen to books while traveling (and not because we were worried we would exhaust our supply of music). we scavenged the supply at the local library (children's section) and came away with sherlock holmes (which we never got to), the spiderwick chronicles (the whole series), and one, two, and three of the edge chronicles. i had read the spiderwick chronicles a while ago, when i thought natalya too young. First, read the books, the movie is really lame; and lastly, read the books, it goes quicker than listening to the dramatics of the reading. of course, that is the truth in all occasions, unless you are a slow reader, or lack a dramatic reader inside your head.
we made it through the first two edge chronicles and the first quarter of the third. they are long books to read, let alone listen to. they are also a strange series; strange in the way that the second counters expectation after the first. The first is full of one moment of peril or adventure right after another. there is a lot of action, continuous, and outside of a clear grasp of the passing of time. The second starts with political intrigue, which is a complete change of pace and way of reading; there are action-packed moments, just fewer; and the terrible creatures are less alien in composition which i think increases their horror for the reader. all of the characters are interesting, well-imagined, and consistent.
this is where i caution potential audiences. the creatures are well-described, in the way only good story-tellers can speak them to life. there is the blood-thirsty, and the demented, and the evil (the second is particularly haunting and gruesome at points).
trying to follow the passage of time is futile (if you are one for such a thing).
you may become frustrated by the protagonists inability to evolve. perhaps we have come to expect that the hero would learn useful tid-bits from the scrapes he finds himself in, and those would help in any following endeavors. well, Twig is the same idiot from beginning to end in the first two books. the only thing that changes is his age. perhaps the authors are merely trying to set aright our sense of reality, or annoy me.
by where we were in book three, i sense that the authors (there are two) are still laying down the logic of the world (an absolute necessity in sci-fi/fantasy fiction) and they are still being led by the stories themselves. at present date, i think they have published up to book 9? i am curious how the story has matured...but not so terribly curious as to get the third book and hunker down. like i intimated so subtly before, the hero irritates me.

from the list i published a bit ago:
--love that dog by sharon creech-- if you like poetry and want to share it, at the very least it is an exercise and a discussion on the reading and writing of poetry and how it works its way into the everyday. i like it because it follows conventions even as it questions them.

---the life and crimes of bernetta wallflower by lisa graff--- i didn't read this one, natalya did, and anyone who knows her could anticipate the angst she suffered while reading this one (which i don't think is the worst thing). she wanted me to read the end so that she could be reassured it would work out alright, this is something she tends to worry over when the book is not science fiction or fantasy (cause how often do those have such pretty endings)..books about life have a different expectation, usually. this one does, however, have an all-will-be-well ending while allowing a lesson to be felt. natalya liked the book, and recommended it, even though her sense that crimes should not be perpetrated and the hero follow the rules had to suffer the suspense of the heroinnes ambiguity (is bernetta a good person?).

---chasing vermeer, the wright 3, and the calder game by blue balliet--the first had been long recommended by everyone i know that has read it. i was not disappointed and have apparently caught the virus. read chasing vermeer and then read the next two; i conveniently listed them in order for you.
there is a good mystery with a good and subtle answer to the mystery (you won't solve these right away).
the mystery is explored in non-traditional ways (at least, not obviously so).
the children who are the heroes are wonderful and consistent characters. i like their peculiarities, and i think the handling of the personalities is such that would encourage children (and adult) readers to refine their own quirks.
it is about friendship (all three) and negotiating relationships.
there are fun and encouraging adults (and are depicted in positive ways).
there is art history and architecture, which should totally spur a tangent that involves pursuing vermeer, wright, and calder (especially calder).
there are discussions that are really interesting, conversations that easily engage the reader, explorations that the reader is not forced to follow but participate in--an ease in which one may disagree and not feel the need to abandon the story.
there are ciphers and codes to solve.
the drawbacks?---perhaps the environment feels too safe for a mystery--but that could be because i am an adult?
i could say that this book can be read fairly early, for the over-arching story, but the concepts and discussions that exist on a more philosophical plane i wouldn't put it younger than 2nd grade, or one unused to the exercise of questions without clear-wrought answers. see, there are multiple mysteries housed under the pursuit of the most basic of plot lines and that is what makes these books worth the read--really, worth owning.

--honeysuckle house by andrea cheng--didn't make it to this one, though it still sounds interesting. if you get there first, let me know what you think.

--the tapestry: the second siege by henry h. neff (read and enjoyed the 1st and this if finally out).---read the first bit, and was distracted by christmas (imagine that--can't be that good then, huh?!) the book is quick to remind us that the hero is exceptional--really quick. and though exceptional, he does have a lot to learn, and while those lessons must be pursued and taught (by those few better-possibly) there are things going on (action-wise) that must be dealt with; after-all the last book left them, and us, at the edge. actually, even though i have not read the first book for a while this second seemed too well placed time-wise beyond the first's ending. could be my impatience to know how the implications of the end affects the next story's conflict. i guess i will just have to wait. i really resist applying a sex to a readership, i really find those boxes suffocating...so i won't, though, if you have a son that likes danger, athletic prowess, attitude, and heroics and he does not read much--read this series (don't bother with the obnoxious titan series hero-who is near-on insufferable).

---fiendish deeds (book one) the joy of spooking by p.j. bracegirdle (awesome last name).--so very good, and creepy... and has incredible social commentary! and that is the protagonist, Joy, alone. Joy, who lives in Spooking, and is forced to go to school in the encroaching suburb of Darlington, is a lot of fun. she likes the horror genre and lives for being creeped out and disturbed; and she is the most relatable character. she is also the first older sister i have read that loves her younger sibling (great relationship, and yet realistic) a brother who is not at all like his sister--he actually gets scared and grossed-out. the parents are present and bizarre and--really, i liked the characters, even the bad-guys are great. there is a lot of humor here, and sad. and like any good book to introduce children safely to the horror genre, there are those all too important moments of scanning the page quickly for the outcome yet letting the chill remain on your spine after the words are exhausted. don't worry, it is a gentle enough chill, as it is a children's book, and as it isn't neil gaiman trying to scare them.
there is some violence, the strong allusion to, and the perpetration of, i.e. there is murder. and like any good horror story that i would want to read, the allusions are better than the gore. there is a little gore (a floating dismemberment--an arm) but it is more ew-gross, and less i need to vomit, though there is vomitting too. and a broken arm....and a bruised eye. and a bus accident, or near accident. and a mean teacher. wow, i am really talking everyone out of reading this book, aren't I.
i recommend this book. but i do not recommend it to just anyone; although Joy's vision of the world is worth reading by everyone: i.e. her notions on non-conformity, consumerism, superficiality. it is funny, and charming, and paced beautifully. the author makes beautiful word choices, and has created a book within a book that i wish i could have my hands on. he's a good story-teller, and if you are a fan (as an adult) of Poe, this is a grade-schooler's introduction. i look forward to what other books should follow and when i can sneak it into Nate's pile we'll read it aloud together, but only during the early daylight hours.

added to the list:
--Measle and the Wrathmonk, Measle and the Dragodon, and Measle and the Mallockee by Ian Ogilvy. I started with the third book and upon finishing it, i promptly went to get the first, and then quickly went back for the second. the wrathmonks and the dog are my favorite characters, as they are by far the most humorous. i also appreciate the fact that the hero, Measle, is so clever. Though there are magical beings, Measle has no magic, only his wits, and some luck. Ogilvy creates his own world here, and it is a refreshing at turns. The stories are descriptive and there is plenty of adventure and humor. i'm reading through the first with natalya, though the second and third are funnier. if you are not opposed to magical content and a collection of good creative villains in your adventures, read these.

--lastly, there are the Mallory series by Laurie Friedman. The first is Mallory on the Move. A sentence of a review on the back compares Mallory McDonald to Junie B. Jones, Judy Moody, and Clarice Bean to name a few: I read this and it put me on the defensive (those are great characters). Nate is plowing through these books and has added them to her list of likes, not sure that she rates as highly as Junie B. for Natalya, few could top that crazy girl in my daughter's mind. I have to say, that Mallory is an individual, interesting, and finds herself in awkward places with which she navigates with incredible aplomb. and the stories negotiate childhood events and situations in easily digestible ways, though not so digestible that you don't have a few stomach clenching moments. i did mention that Mallory is certainly her own person, right? in order to be interesting you can't be comfortable to others at least half the time. a downside is that she has a mean older brother, and fairly generic parents; though her mother is a major part of the plot in one of the books.
considering the above list of names and their book series, i would put Mallory between Junie B. and Judy Moody as far as maturity of the reader goes, then introduce Clarice Bean (the one i like the most).

does a long posting make up for a long absence? well, surely it will be filler for a couple more days, right? or napping material.

worm-less

2009-01-09T08:23:00.001-08:00

it feels early yet, but i am beginning to resurface.

snow day: day 2

2008-12-17T11:51:00.000-08:00

today is snow day: day 3...where it is actually snowing big lovely flakes!

i am going to recall an instance from the everlong yesterday: day 2.

we decided to pick up some books on cd for our road trip...which of course meant that what ever other book we happened by would have to come too. Natalya picked up a book called The Big Book of Adventure . it has shortened versions of epic stories like: Moby-Dick, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, The Last of the Mohicans, Treasure Island, to name a few. the sticker says 'short stories' but if you know what a short story is, you would know the labelling was completely misinformed.
Natalya was reading Robinson Crusoe aloud to us... She is at the part where the cannibals have come to the island and Crusoe hides himself, and watches them come to shore, etc. we are now at the entry titled "Friday"..(page 13 of this book) Natalya reads aloud, "The savages left in thier canoes. More than two years later more came, about thirty men. They brought with them two prisoners and, throwing one of them to the ground next to their fire, they began to cut him to pieces. The other victim managed to flee."
I, of course, must interject a "what?!" sean and i exchange glances. and i have to ask natalya (whom just read over that part as if it were all and sundry), "they began to cut him to pieces? does that bother you natalya?"
"no--what?"
i am going to argue that her oblivion is due to the fact that she hasn't watched all the slasher movies of hacking people apart that i have, so she has no visual to put with the words... that or she just understands that these are the kinds of things that happen in adventures...sigh.

it is a cold and foggy morning...

2008-12-11T16:45:00.000-08:00

i'm sure i have my books-to-read list around here somewhere, sigh. it is winter break. meanwhile, i do have a short pile of books available, but i would hate to edge out a long-awaited-read. i know that i put ursula leguin's dispossessed on there.

just this afternoon i finished the graveyard book by neil gaiman. an enjoyable read...the premise is enough for me, but the man is a good story teller. the early chapters feel like a chronological collection of short tales (featuring the protagonist) with the thread that connects the opening occurences (the impetus of the story) to the final chapters' resolution--this effect allows one to lay down the book after a chapter, but for the continuous read it is a bit of an adjustment. the character development is wonderful--one of the reasons i enjoy gaiman... and i feel he must love silas as he does dream from his sandman stories.

the story is aimed at the juvenile crowd, and is heavily influenced by kipling's the jungle book (which makes me want to revisit that story--and not disney's). i was a little hesitant to read the graveyard book yet, but i had requested it from the library and it came in. my hesitancy follows my attempt to read two other books aimed at the young adult/juvenile crowd... gilda joyce, psychic investigator, and cabinet of wonders (first in a "kronos trilogy"). i thought my criticism of the writing style was heavily influenced by the fact that i have been reading such phenominal writers/story tellers like italo calvino and jorges luis borges. i may revise that excuse. and maybe i will revisit those books. i would hate to lose the joy of a good story with the influence of schooling; however, the story telling could just be not that enjoyable regardless.
gilda joyce was a bit mature and i found her annoying. i say mature in that nate will probably want to wait on reading this one, but by the time she approaches an age or a care for the protagonist, she will probably be well past the writing's level--natalya is, at this moment, reading alice in wonderland for the umpteenth time.
i really wanted to like the cabinet book. the premise sounds really good. i will give this one a chance again later. i have read good reviews on the book from those in the young adult books industry, so the writing must be appropriate (right?) i just found it difficult to engage in. the first sentence of the book was a bit much, as did the feel of the first few chapters. the author was obliging an editor, or laboriously throwing down the groundwork to get the story, the adventure she really wants to tell--speculation by me, i hope to revise this opinion. i hope the caliber of the writing can meet the imagination the story promises.

well, i am going to read some poetry, and read to natalya esperanza rising so i might soon introduce her to a potentially more difficult book (due to subject matter) becoming naomi leon. meanwhile, sean is reading nate order of the phoenix (harry potter bk 5).

my stack of books in the library basket? juvenile, every one. [so i am also going to read some kafka, i think, and some philip k. dick, and ursula leguin.--oh and job boards for me, sigh]

right, the stack:
love that dog by sharon creech
the edge chronicles 3 and 4 by paul stewart & chris riddell (i've read the first, have yet to request the 2nd, but saw 3 and 4 and decided to go ahead).
chasing vermeer, the wright 3, and the calder game by blue balliet
fiendish deeds (book one) the joy of spooking by p.j. bracegirdle (awesome last name).
honeysuckle house by andrea cheng
the life and crimes of bernetta wallflower by lisa graff
the tapestry: the second siege by henry h. neff (read and enjoyed the 1st and this if finally out).

of course, willing to take recommendations, or even provide a few..

reading anything interesting?

vacating...

2008-12-09T21:25:00.001-08:00

finished my oral final in Graphic Novel... not sure how it went. i pretty much couldn't remember what i said mere minutes after i said it. that can't be a good sign. oh well!--so i say until i get my grades back. unfortunate to say, the end of this term (from about a few weeks in) did not go all that well--though i could still use the word 'stunningly'.

alas.. but it is time for vacation. and what are my plans for this glorious month? not sure (as much is up in the air at the moment--or sucking me alarmingly close to the ground--or both--or yo-yo-ing back and forth).

i do know that in place of the "christmas letter"!! [what--you do one too? excellent, send it round.] we are going to do a zine... as sean has some time on his hands, and i like this sort of creative outlet (an outlet of my choosing), we are going to do our year, amongst other things, in zine format... and it might have a cheerful cover, if not some downright jolly content.. okay, i am exagerrating there. but it will be fun!!--and rocking awesome... so brace yourself, if you are on my mailing list. alright--so the end product may not be as fun as the process..but that occurs occasionaly with any art project that i am involved in.

if you would like to submit pages (friends of this blog only--and i know which few you are) for advertising or utter randomness so as to confuse potential recipients or because you like the darnell's crazy ideas, let me know! also, if you think you might not be on my mailing list for endlessly fascinating "christmas letters/ end-of-year-updates" let me know.. (can email me your address)--never fear if you are a blood-relative than know that you are obligated to recieve this delicious treat of a zine.

fun with etsy...

2008-12-04T15:53:00.000-08:00

"Becoming Queen" by badbird

"Alice in Wonderland--Big" by Champignons

point form #1---zine by sweetie pie

wool cloche---black by liza rietz

"some like it ruff" necklace by tango and james

spider and web necklace by af metalsmith

vintage linen and red necklace/choker/cuff by maisy and alice

flapper girl spats by ashes and empires

only a few of the favorite things...very few... but certainly fun.

lights, camera--christmas decor

2008-12-03T15:50:00.000-08:00

we put up the tree last night... and then, of course, decorated the tree, and then some of the house. it is nice to live in small enough spaces so that you can get maximum festive out of minimal "holiday decor" objects (and that is not an invitation to buy me said sort of objects).

with natalya's updated room we decided against trying to find a crammed corner to put her little tree in, so some of the ornaments that usually grace her tree, were added to the plethora "encrusting" our tree.

even put on christmas music via pandora. (though we do have a few cds--no purchasing for us there necessary either.) the music lasted until some maniacal elvis-sounding song came on--loud and dementing--while sean was on the phone and i was trying to be a good sport. yeah, we opted to follow this with music from the toad the wet sprockets and oasis and counting crows.

let the christmas season continue to begin!

good

2008-12-02T16:23:00.000-08:00

it is good to have Natalya home.

thanksgiving

2008-11-27T08:54:00.000-08:00

a link you can click on to take you to a wonderful thanksgiving message from nieniedialogues.

holiday cheer

2008-11-25T16:17:00.000-08:00

are you up for more holiday cheer?!
obviously this is the place!

you're clicking on "this" or "the place" for a link aren't you?

ha-ha.. no, this blog is the place..

and no, i have not been drinking---yet.

okay, maybe this blog is not the holiday-y cheerful place, unless you are eeyore (if so, luxuriate once more).

actually, i did lift my ban on in-the-house-or-car-or-my-vicinity christmas humming/singing until christmas eve-ning and christmas day. mostly because nate can make anything fit into the tune of 12 days of christmas (used to be jingle bells) and make it rhyme and everything. she is our own regular 'weird al'. i should have her listen to some bob dylan and see what she can do with that; have been humming some of his songs all day (we watched scorsese's documentary on dylan last night in class--the 2nd part of the film--it was good.)

oh, right, but thanksgiving comes first. and are there "thanksgiving-y caroles"?
i do so not like to overlook this particular holiday in the rush to get to christmas.
okay, usually i do.
mostly because if i can speed through this holiday, natalya is home once again. and those papers and books are written and read...ah, finals week!

nate gets on the plane tomorrow (yeah, she misses a day of school this year (not to be blamed on me).) i am trying to get her packed today, and she doesn't want to be bothered by helping... she has other things she'd rather do. am looking for her most hideous outfits (and not going to give her one set of matching socks); not really, because i want her to appear as what she is, a well cared for growing girl (even if she refuses to brush her hair)... sigh.

in related news:
this year, sean and i will be taking friends up on the invite over for dinner on thursday. aren't you proud? yeah, i know.
this was before sean was laid-off so this pre-determination to not act on my depressive state while nate is in albuquerque is perfect because really, it doesn't do to have too low a level of sadness in the house at one time.

though it could be just the right conditions to get in some good writing.
course, i may want to abstain from writing anything for little sister's blog... though that could be really interesting--hee-hee.

see? holiday cheer.

leslie is...

2008-11-21T18:03:00.000-08:00

...cooking dinner.
...sipping chai with its hint of bailey's.
...looking forward to fall feast; fondue again this year.
...listening to nate and sean play simpson's road rage on the playstation.
...contemplating which of her reading she will do tonight.
...developing an addiction to etsy.com.
...
...

mini-vans

2008-11-19T16:32:00.001-08:00

since we have already notified the next of kin:

sean was laid-off yesterday.

when i got out of class, he called and had me come by the office, and we packed his desk and took a zip-car home...yes, it was somewhat humiliating, the zip-car was a mini-van, ugh...(there are no excuses for those things).

there is a reason for the lay-offs (these are not the first for his firm in recent months, nor was he the only one yesterday to pack his desk)...and, then other firms are having a hard time of it as well. no one is hiring and hundreds will be vying for those few new jobs anticipated (whispered about) after the new year (thank you for supporting those bond measures that will build new schools)

the inner-industry network* has proven to be very supportive and are trying to comfort each other and be positive with each other. this has been really helpful as morale is low.

*the architects, who are not principles of their firm or a*#h%^$s** who don't do their work but keep their jobs anyway.
**always wanted to astrix it out, & my parents read my blog

This post is merely an f.y.i. and hopefully another thing for you to add to your prayer lists.

i am not looking for comments today, so please do not leave any.

a contributor

2008-11-17T15:46:00.000-08:00

i wasn't contributing to a minor (as if i ever would) so here's something you may (or may not) get a kick out of... course, i might still put up a pic from my wedding when posting over there (like me trying unsuccessfully not to cry during the toasts, you'll note the appropriateness of choosing that particular photo)--another reason for a photo op: then--i was a smoking hot bride.. really, it was pretty warm day, outdoor wedding, full sun, clear blue sky, corset suffocating me, the layers of underskirts. an advertisement for aveda products--they do not melt, in or on the face of anything or one.

anyway.. go ahead and comment on little sister's blog post: your own experiences with the subject matter, a relevant memory, or a "hey you should have this contributor back often, she's brilliant"--you know..

anywho, if you actually did think it went alright, you can leave that comment here. can you tell i sound a bit nervous.. you'll see, i felt a need to modulate my voice a bit...mine and little sister's styles differ..but i think they could compliment each other.

3T

2008-11-14T16:05:00.000-08:00

we've a few thanksgiving traditions in our little family of three.

one is a tree:
branches poked out of a tall vase with construction paper leaves littering them. we'll re-hang those kept from last year and add new ones as we find thankful-things to write on them. (we started the tree last year)
sean set it up the other day. it looks really good on my new credenza!
really, this tree is a step forward as i'm sure you'll be shocked to find that i do not decorate much for holidays; which adds to the difficulty of shopping for me..amazingly so.

two is a 'fall feast':
nate will be out of town, again, of course, on thanksgiving day so we'll have a 'fall feast'. we thought to try something different, but we're back to the fondue book. we did decide to try a different cheese, you'll be shocked to discover it titled "thanksgiving fondue". we decided we might want to think about a menu, finally, because of course time is skating away from us.

a third is publishing the christmas lists:
for relatives (cause they all live away from us) to have time to buy/make and mail gifts. do you have your lists made by now?

****
traditions mark a holiday; they give it substance.
i find myself needing just enough to note the occasion, but not so much as to increase the anxiety they can potentially cause.

*****
hmmm...this didn't sound like a cheery-holiday-anticipation-post did it?
partly i am tired, and partly distracted, but wanted to post something, hopefully to warm-up for all the writing i need to do in coming hours...and also to get myself excited for an otherwise really good-intentioned holiday to celebrate.

i bet i'll do better with christmas.

and maybe i'll try again on this kind of post next week.

...

2008-11-11T11:52:00.000-08:00

yikes..
has that rant been up for more than a few days?
oops..

i guess i have busy since; distracted by other concerns.

***

looking for a good laugh, head over to randy wray's blog.

a little rest for the weary

2008-11-06T13:19:00.000-08:00

a little rest for the weary.. and i stress weary as opposed to wary... i am not the least wary, today, or yesterday afternoon... actually i am feeling a bit explosive.. which is dangerous, because---- maybe i am wary, of my self.

really, i am a bit tired. my tongue is sore from biting it back; and my middle finger tired (from hitting the backspace and delete keys on the computer); and my eyes feel a bit bored by the commentary...i would probably speed read past this if i were not the one writing it.

restraint is an act of compassion on my part. yes, go ahead and saint me. i am good to not overburden you and add to that raging white noise we are at present surrounded by.

i believe i have the right to express my opinions, and the complete option to not. and this being my blog--surely i can post in this space calmly and in an orderly fashion. however, with you, i will be considerate... i have a bottle of baileys, a husband who listens (or looks convincing enough to pass), and a hard wall to beat my head against (not unlike most conversations to be held of late). i'll be right as rain in no time...after all, mccain did lose the election .

not monday, but close

2008-11-04T14:51:00.000-08:00

did you vote?

*

in other depressing news:

have you read Maus I & II by art spiegelman?

**

carved....

2008-10-29T17:34:00.001-07:00

our annual "head shot"
what can i say, just one of many of our fun family traditions
so is carving "free hand":
you can do a sketch, and you can draw on the pumpkin...
and you can have sean help you.

yep, that is jack skellington. he is nate's inspired carve this year (with sean's help) but she carved the eyes and nose herself. the one she drew and carved herself was the ghost one on the bottom (a small white pumpkin with white guts=very cool)

sis is in business

2008-10-28T16:02:00.000-07:00

please do not let this post block your view of my daughter's poems...
you should read them.

in other news:

not sure if i shared, but my sister (the only and younger) and her husband just launched a little business called Alan Grey Favors. {Alan and Grey are my nephews' (born to said sister) middle names. they are also my dad's name (Alan) and a favorite color of mine (grey).} Here is their blurb so you may experience a bit of deja vu when checking out their site (which i am of course encouraging you to do):

We are here to assist you in making a special day successful. Preserve those moments in time with our beautiful favors and accessories. For any and all occasion or event we are here for you.

Not to sound biased, but i probably would have shopped there for wedding favors; i had the darndest time finding a cake topper and they have a few that are pretty amusing. i am still sifting through their other products, though there is a nifty cup/saucer set under the anniversary tab.

if she is going for elegance and charm, she is achieving it.

She also launched a blog to go with the site, though more directed towards weddings. she asked me to come up with a couple entries (articles) to post over there.. not sure if she reads my stuff here.. probably just being sisterly. maybe she should enlist nate, or this is her way of enlisting nate...(either way i will employ capitalized letters when posting over there.)

i will be finagling a "button" for my side-bar here (and will post a notice when i do). but do not hesitate to bookmark their address and send along the site to your friends.

bookmark their address and send along the site to your friends.

bookmark their address and send along the site to your friends.

bookmark their address and send along the site to your friends.

and remember to read those poems, if you haven't.

New Poems by Natalya

2008-10-27T16:15:00.000-07:00

I meant to post these on Friday: By "these" I mean, a few of Natalya's poems (unedited at this time except for correcting spelling errors, and adjusting structure as she writes in paragraph form most of the time; we're still working on punctuation as used in verse).

In the fashion of "untitled" poems.. use the first line.

******

On a strong white horse I ride
galloping in the sky
dancing in the moonlight like a shining star
come and watch me yes please do
It will be great I guarantee
best of the best and glee of the glee
and I woke up next morning
oh no it was a dream

********
Inside me I do not exist
I feel life
I can hear the creek
but as far as I am aware
no one can see my face or my clothes
neither can I
for I don't exist
as far as I am aware

*****************

My wings beat
I take flight
I soar through the air like an eagle in the sky
I land softly and quietly
like a mousie crawling by
I sip necter like a queen
I wake from my dreams and sigh
what a beautiful butterfly dream

******************

I should record her reading them, and post that.. something i ask she do before i read them myself.... she makes them even more remarkable when she says them aloud..

NaNoWriMo

2008-10-22T16:23:00.000-07:00

a friend or two has suggested doing the nanowrimo 'challenge': "The goal is to write a 175-page (50,000-word) novel by midnight, November 30." starting November 1st. the friend and two have done it.

you may be thinking...leslie is not even considering this, look how often she blogs and well...doesn't she approach writing a little differently?

well, i am considering it.. only cause my writing load this term is lighter than it has been..

and yes, i do approach writing differently...(i get bored with myself and story and usually have to set it down and return to it). not sure about that 50,000 word count... but "they" (nanowrimo) say it doesn't have to be good, just thrown out there...i'm sure i could write something formulaic.. or use the journal trope (that is a good cheat)..course, it would have to be a construct of the theme....a few plot-lines are coming to mind.---although, many will argue this, but i am not all that convinced that i have to have a plot..unless stories cannot be a reflection of life what-so-ever. oh. the constructs, the conventions.

anywho.. we'll see, i've a few days.. in the meanwhile, there are homework papers. and... a renewed interest in a story i wrote (with parts still a bit raw and an ending with which i'm not completely happy). the renewed interest can be blamed on my graphic novel class.. despite my inability to draw (sean can) i think the story would translate well graphically.

anyone thinking of trying the nanowrimo?.. we can set our own timeline, if you like.

costuming

2008-10-21T14:00:00.000-07:00

Nate and Sean picked up Nate's halloween costume last night... for a few minutes, weeks ago, she was going to be Nancy Drew or Lucy Pevensie... She will be Lucy Pevensie, she decided. you know, from Lewis' The Chronicles of Narnia. last year she was Hermoine Granger and a pretty convincing one at that.

the lit-geek that i am finds the idea of a halloween party of only characters out of literature would be really fun.. with a prize for the most obscure, and another for the most possibly accurate without aid of book illustrations...the most replicated.. i wonder who i would go as?...(the most obscure would be one of my own characters..but we would probably have the rule of "published characters").

are you dressing up for halloween? i doubt i will. i know i always say that and then pull things together at literally the last minute..but i think i will really forgo this year.. really.

what was your favorite costume you've ever worn? for halloween! not those other occasions--er--whatever those occasions may--um--be.

as i have to run along to pick up Lucy a.k.a Nate up from school i will think on my questions (all but the second as i already answered that one) and post my own answers in the comments.

losing track

2008-10-14T15:14:00.000-07:00

losing track...or traction...or...

have you ever taken the wrong exit.. and as you are exiting you realize your mistake.. and as you look over you see the roadway curving away from you, and further along it you see the sign for the exit you had intended to take.

you are not yet completely lost, merely frustrated at the time wasted, or the potential hassle of figuring out how to get back on the roadway.

i can't say i feel like that right now, but it is not unfamiliar to me.

on my mind today is that obnoxious conversation of talent-use. really, it annoyed me in youth group, and it annoys me still today... perhaps it is because i've yet to wrap my mind around it.

also, there is the ever thought bending notion of reconciling selves; both those already experienced, and those yet to breathe. i need to read up more on notions of Time.

i need to get to putting my brain energy to my schoolwork.

adolescence for grown-ups who do in fact get it.

2008-10-01T16:11:00.000-07:00

the graphic novel, Black Hole, is set in 1970s Seattle area within the alien world of the adolescent. sean is reading it with me, and we were talking about how, though set in the 70s there is no doubt that it could easily be translated to any time frame thereafter, just change the fashion and the few catch-words and the drug of choice. we speculated that one: it may be because the author "came of age" in the 70s, and/or: it is easier to talk about matters in another tense.
there is also a curiosity over age-rating to the book..really, the artist probably just cut and pasted the drawing of the penis after awhile to fill the second half of the book, and that excludes all the (less obvious) phallic imagery the reader is inundated with... really no shock-, or erotic-, value at all...well past saturation point.

anyway...in discussion of age regulation of buying, sean mentioned that the adolescent would probably miss the 'timeless aspect' of the book anyway...wouldn't see it in any sense of real present. probably go cross-eyed over all the pictures.

i put this thought together with the information in human development class that suggests many do not move beyond adolescent mind-set for a while (if ever) after 'teen' is no longer attached.

the combination of the two had me taking notes and listening more to how different people reacted to the book.

the conclusion? i still have another day on this book. but one girl still has the angry tone when stating that 'schools and parents, and adults in general, don't get what teenagers are going through, they have no clue'. yeah, the teacher just let that pass. well, i mean, if she thinks the book successfully represents to what she is referring than she has to acknowledge that the author is an adult.

the difficulty is getting the five people who hog the discussion to shut up so i can draw from a greater pool of people... and get the guy pre-occupied with the absence of ethnic diversity in the story (though there is a young black man on page two in the first few panels) to consider other avenues of thought...or to even ask the question, 'why might that be?'

anyway, the book makes for an interesting read on the train...reading over my shoulder should be really entertaining for plenty of folks this term.